Pubdate: Mon, 25 Jan 1999
Source: Standard-Times (MA)
Contact:  http://www.s-t.com/
Copyright: 1999 The Standard-Times
Author:  Polly Saltonstall, Standard-Times staff writer

PROGRAM GIVES RECOVERING ADDICTS A CHANCE TO BE GOOD MOTHERS

NEW BEDFORD -- Marty nervously folds and unfolds her small hands as
she talks. Hunched over the kitchen table, her slight body engulfed in
a bulky gray-and-white sweater, wisps of brown hair curling out of its
loose French braid, she looks much younger than her 23 years.

She feels much older.

Abandoned by her mother at the age of 12, she lived for years on the
streets of New Bedford and Fall River, crashing on friends' sofas,
dating men twice her age, becoming addicted to cocaine.

But she has put that life behind her. Marty is learning how to be a
mother now.

Thanks to Reunion House, an 8-month-old residential program run by the
YWCA of Southeastern Massachusetts in New Bedford, she has been
reunited with the three children she lost because of drugs and neglect.

As she sits talking in this warm kitchen, surrounded by signs of cozy
domesticity -- dirty lunch dishes in the sink, coffee cooking down to
an acrid sludge in the electric coffee pot -- she keeps one ear turned
to the open door behind. Her 1-year-old daughter, Mariah, has been
napping upstairs and Marty, not her real name, worries the toddler
might have woken up.

Her brown eyes soften and a grin steals across her face as she shares
some good news. After weeks of day, overnight and weekend visits, her
two sons, ages 4 and 5, moved back in with her full time last weekend.

Marty came to Reunion House two months ago after spending almost a
year in other rehabilitation programs. She sought treatment for her
cocaine addiction during her third month of pregnancy. At the time,
she was sleeping in a basement in Fall River.

"I was never able to be a kid," she says, haltingly searching for the
right words. "But I've learned from my mistakes. I'm not going to
raise my kids the way I was. Hopefully, I can stop the cycle."

Stopping the cycle and helping recovering addicts take control of
their lives and their families is the purpose behind Reunion House.

One of about eight such homes in the state, Reunion House provides a
place where mothers can live with their children and learn coping
skills, including how to be a good parent, cooking, nutrition,
budgeting and home maintenance.

Opened last June in a renovated mansion on Pleasant Street, the house
is home to five mothers and eight children ranging in age from 1 to 8.
Demand for the service has been high. Another 26 women are on a
waiting list, said Kim Barboza-Owens, director of the Y's Women's
Collaborative Project, which oversees Reunion House.

Typically, women recovering from drug addictions will go through
detoxification programs and move to sober houses, she explained. But
women who want to regain custody of their children often have a
difficult time finding safe, drug-free environments and the support
they need to stay sober.

"Detox is just one level of dealing with addiction," said Ms.
Barboza-Owens. "It doesn't address the mental and emotional issues.
Coupled with not having their children, that's a setup for women,
particularly recovering addicts. Before you know it, they are back to
using their drug of choice."

Kelly knows all about that cycle.

Her good looks contrast sharply with her tale of life as an addict.
That is the case with many of these women. The horror of their
previous lives, the depths to which they sank in pursuit of drugs,
seems unreal as they talk matter-of-factly about their hopes for the
future and their dreams of new beginnings.

A 36-year-old Boston resident, Kelly was a heroin addict for 20 years.
Clean for a year, she began shooting up again while she was pregnant
with her youngest child, now 1. As soon as the baby was born and
detoxed from the heroin, the state took custody and placed her with an
unrelated foster family.

"I had to learn how far I could go, and that was using drugs during my
pregnancy," Kelly said. "Seeing my daughter born addicted, seeing her
sick, knowing it didn't have to be that way. I never, never want to go
back to that."

She blames her relapse in part on the despair of her life. At the time
she was seeking custody of her 5-year-old son. She had no place to
live and was shuffling between relatives and friends.

Kelly has two other children, teen-agers. Her two youngest children
now live at Reunion House; her 5-year-old son moved in Dec. 28 and
sleeps on the top bunk of the bunk bed in Kelly's small bedroom. Kelly
sleeps on the bottom.

Each mother can live in the house from nine months to two years. To be
eligible for the program, a mother must be homeless and have
participated in at least six months of residential drug
rehabilitation, said Ms. Barboaza-Owens.

Random urine tests ensure that the participants remain drug free. So
far, no one has violated the rules, she said.

The women share housekeeping duties, a communal kitchen, living room
and playroom. Each mother shares a bedroom with her children, many of
them sleeping in varnished pine bunk beds in the small dorm-like
chambers. Those who can pay up to 40 percent of their income in
program fees.

Additional funding comes from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban
Development, the New Bedford Office of Housing and Neighborhood
Development, United Way and the Charlesbank Homes fund.

Highly structured, a typical day for Reunion House residents might
include two group classes, counseling, and healing programs such as
massage and self-esteem building. The classes are taught by
specialists from partnering agencies including the Women's Center,
Highpoint and Mass Rehabilitation Services.

Children must be in bed by 8 p.m. and lights go out for mothers no
later than 11. The house is staffed round the clock.

Each Reunion House resident must contribute two to eight hours of
community service a week -- one woman works at the Chamber of
Commerce, and another reads to students in a local schools, says Ms.
Barboza-Owens. They also must earn their high school equivalency
certificate before they may leave.

Ms. Barboza-Owens and case manager Kelley Cabral-Mosher win high
praise from the grateful residents, who credit the two with saving
their lives.

The staff works closely with the Department of Social Services, which
has custody of some of the children who live in the home.

Learning to be a good parent can be particularly challenging for a
recovering addict seeking custody of a child, said DSS caseworker
Susan Plank.

Reunion House teaches those skills, and more, she said.

"A lot of these parents don't know how to budget their money to pay
bills every month," she said. "And they have a lot of other issues
they have to deal with, like leaning how to stay away from the people
they were drug-involved with. It's important for them just to have
someone support them and tell them they are doing a good job."

During her seven months in the program, Kelly has earned her high
school equivalency diploma -- her scores on the test were excellent,
she relates with pride. She is taking a class in computerized
accounting and has committed to a three-year counseling and treatment
plan to continue her recovery. She has been rebuilding relationships
with her teen-age sons and plans to move into her own apartment this
spring

"I've learned a lot about myself," she says earnestly. "I've learned I
have a mind." 

- ---
MAP posted-by: Rich O'Grady