Pubdate: Thu, 01 Feb 2018
Source: Toronto Sun (CN ON)
Copyright: 2018 Canoe Limited Partnership
Contact: http://www.torontosun.com/letter-to-editor
Website: http://torontosun.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/457
Author: Jerry Agar
Page: 12

AN ODE TO THE FUZZ WHO TRIED ON A BUZZ

Officer Flyer Man flew up a tree

Not where a uniformed police man should be.

This went down last weekend on Saturday night

In Toronto the Good and yes, it happened alright.

At Black Creek Drive and Eglinton Ave.

Cops didn't foresee what a night they would have.

Officer Flyer Man and other brave cops

Were busting Toronto's illegal drug shops.

They thought the evidence really looked good

So then they did something no officer should.

These two cops failed to act like professionals

When it occurred to them they'd seized cannabis edibles. With evidence
to log and police work to do

Can you believe the gall of these two?

Could have been brownies or white chocolate chip Hand-infused gummies
or a honey pot stick.

I don't know but hey, dude, whatever

That evidence - it's gone forever.

That's right, they ate it, swallowed it down

And Officer Flyer Man's boots left the ground.

In these situations pending investigations

And final summations, these are just allegations.

But to my reading of Warmington's report

These officers may need some legal support.

Vittorio Dominelli had 10 years on the force

But may need a po-lice retraining course.

That's to assume that he gets to remain

A cop with a badge and regain his good name.

He's Flyer Man, his ID revealed

Up a tree, up a creek, take the gun and the shield.

Jamie Young's a cop youngster two years on the job

Long enough to know not to act like the mob.

They began having visions, they couldn't see straight

They got separated, they couldn't relate.

They made a distress call to 13 Division

My hair hurts, my teeth itch, I've got double vision.

For some reason the cops thought there'd been a kidnapping No one
would believe what really was happening.

Officers scrambled to help two of their own

One who was wandering, one who had flown.

 From four divisions the officers raced

To find a circumstance they'd never faced.

After a search at least one cop was heard

To say, "He's in the tree, he's up there like a bird."

They were in altered states, a real sight to see

They had to call EMS to get that cat from the tree.

Well, they got him down and his partner was found An assisting officer
hit her head on the ground.

Off they all went to emergency

Dumb and Dumber and the Helper makes three.

But all involved will be fine soon enough

Although officer Flyer Man's future looks rough.

This really happened; it's a true police story

That doesn't exactly cloak our cops in glory.

The court case against the illegal pot shop

Is unlikely to go well because of the cop.

I am sorry, Your Honour, we sure hate to say it

But Office Flyer Man took the evidence and ate it.
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MAP posted-by: Matt