Pubdate: Wed, 25 Oct 2017
Source: Daily Courier, The (CN BC)
Copyright: 2017 The Okanagan Valley Group of Newspapers
Author: Bernie Bates


 From the head of DEA to the pimple-faced skater punk, everybody knows
that you can't kill weed - you may as well try to rid the world of
dandelions and rainbows. Ready or not, weed will do what weeds do -
they spread. But not to worry Mr. and Mrs. Buzzkill; think of
marijuana as a phase that society is going through. Like a teenager
going through a rebellious stage.

Just like 99.9 per cent of the people reading this, teenagers will
also try things like alcohol, tobacco and fornication.

If you're old enough to remember a day when it was no-big-deal for the
Marlboro man to drive impaired to some chick's place, then you're old.

You're also old enough and wise enough to know that today's society
shuns drunk drivers, smelly smokers and frivolous fornicators.

Like it or not, society is slowly maturing and coming to the
realization that we've all grown up with the marijuana plant. Some
senior citizens still puff stuff, but most of the population gave up
the high life and are now on the down low.

The part that will surprise you the most are the names of the new
pushers on the block.

Money has it that the big name stores will move in and rake in the
green. Pun intended. Travel with me into the not-so-distant future. As
you sit in the car seat next to your once infant son, you notice the
big box store has an old familiar name.

In this store, they will not only sell you an array of alcohols, but
also six packs of BC Bud and other mind blowing items from their inventory.

Here, in a safe environment, an adult can pick up their brand of THC,
packaged in all sorts of different forms. Everything from main-course
meals to laced drinks, to devilish desserts and even yummy gummies.

That's not all that's in store for you. Here in the Brand X store is a
stash like no stoner could have ever dreamt of in his wildest
hallucinations. There are hundreds of strange strain names to choose
from. Names like Purple Kush, X Skunk and Alien Asshat.

Don't forget that you'll also need to stuff your stuff into something.
They'll supply you with rolling papers, pipes, bongs and electronic
vaporizers. But the merchandising doesn't stop there; they'll sell
Hemp T-shirts, hats, lighters and Bob Marley posters. It's enough to
give you reefer madness. This is where education comes in; if you know
your st (slang for marijuana), the better your results will be.

Just like there are different kinds of alcohol, there will be
different effects depending upon the brand of st you'll be smoking.

For example: would you drink a bottle of beer or drink a bottle of
whiskey before you went to your in-law's home for supper?

If you're looking for a few girl giggles; may I suggest a nice happy
body stone - you know, just like a relaxing smoke-able martini. Or
would you like to be a babbling zombie in search of brains?

If that's your choice monsieur, then you should try the fresh 2017
crop of Alien Asshat (actual name of a cannabis strain).

If you think that governments and Wall Street haven't noticed the
growth - then you must really be stoned, man.

Can you imagine if your grand-daddy had bought stocks in Anheuser

It brings new meaning to this Buds for you.
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MAP posted-by: Matt