Pubdate: Wed, 22 Feb 2017
Source: Ottawa Sun (CN ON)
Copyright: 2017 Canoe Limited Partnership
Author: Jacquie Miller
Page: 4


How to talk to your kids about the death of teen and the risk of

Like parents across the city, I was shaken by the photograph of Chloe
Kotval, her long straight hair and big, hopeful eyes so like those of
my own daughter, attached to a story about death. Gone at 14,
apparently of a drug overdose.

That evening I sat down with my 12-year-old. "A very sad thing has
happened to a teenager in Kanata," I began.

"Oh, you mean Chloe?" she said. "I know all about it. It's all over

She'd already seen the #greenforchloe flood of balloons and hearts,
the photo of Chloe's school locker plastered with paper flowers, and
the emotional tributes ("My heart aches for this girl, heaven gained a
gorgeous angel and she will be in our hearts forever") unleashed as
Ottawa youngsters joined a wave of social media mourning.

Green was Chloe's favourite colour. And pink.

The social media grief will help youngsters mourn. But will it also
act as a deterrent against the allure of a friend offering them a
little green pill? Will it help subvert the combination of the urge to
experiment and sense of invulnerability that is part of the teenage

And how do you talk to your child about Chloe's death, and

First, smother the urge to scream, "Don't you dare do drugs or you
could die!" Scare tactics - the "just say no" approach - aren't
helpful, said Andrew Mendes, director of operations at Rideauwood
Addictions and Family Services treatment centre.

However, providing factual information about drug use is, he says.
That includes the social media flurry around Chloe's death, which
"gives truth to events that are happening. It informs users of the
risk they are taking in regard to opioid use that may be laced with

It's also important to remember that all drugs are unique, with
different effects on the body and risk of dependency, said Mendes. So
blanket statements about "illegal drugs" aren't helpful, either.

"We can't just talk about fentanyl, or opioids, or cocaine, or
cannabis, all as the same drug."

Other experts agree it's key to talk openly with your child about drug
use. Aim for many small conversations, perhaps naturally woven into
chatter about news stories or events at school, rather than one long
drug lecture, says a Health Canada tip sheet, "How to Talk With Your
Teen About Drugs."

Listen respectfully and without judgement. Consider their point of
view. And embrace argument. It's a sign of healthy, independent
thinking, and part of your teen building a stronger relationship with

Focus on facts, not emotion. Explaining how drug use may affect
health, performance in sports and appearance can be effective, because
some teens care about those things.

Experts also say families must consider the wider picture. Teens who
have strong family attachments and community ties, who connect at
school, have strong, positive friendships, social skills and religious
or spiritual beliefs may be less likely to experiment with drugs, says
Health Canada.
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