Pubdate: Tue, 04 Oct 2016
Source: Toronto Sun (CN ON)
Copyright: 2016 Canoe Limited Partnership
Author: Christina Blizzard
Page: 42


You know what they say: Candy's dandy. And liquor's quicker. But a
combination of pot, hash and whisky - well, it's fast on its way to an
LCBO near you.

Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, which is promoted by the
Trailer Park Boys, suggests you should mix its booze with a "six-paper

It also suggests it's the right booze to drink early in the

"Let's face it, some days you're going to wake up and start drinking
before 10 a.m.," it says, under its recipe section of the website.

The LCBO is set to launch the brand on Thursday. How's that for
"social responsibility" when it comes to our state-run liquor store?

OK, understand this is a spoof. I know the Trailer Park Boys'
trademark is booze, drugs and profanity.

But the LCBO is a government agency dedicated to social
responsibility. They've been entrusted with the job of selling booze
to us because, apparently, we need people to tell us how to do this in
a sensible fashion.

Stocking a product that tells people to liquor up before noon and what
goes best with six-paper spliff is really not a role we want from the

Asked about the product Monday, Premier Kathleen Wynne said she hadn't
heard about it.

"None of that sounds particularly savoury to me - and dangerous," she
told reporters, adding she'll "look into it."

A spokesman for the LCBO said the offensive materials are not LCBO
advertising, but were created by the manufacturer.

"Each manufacturer is independently subject to AGCO (Alcohol and
Gaming Commission of Ontario) advertising guidelines for beverage alcohol.

"LCBO follows AGCO and CRTC advertising guidelines in all of its own
advertising and reviews all labels of products sold on its shelves for
compliance with those guidelines as well as federal labelling rules,"
said Christine Bujold.

"This includes screening for possibly offensive or misleading wording
and graphics, before products are approved for sale in LCBO stores."

She said social responsibility messaging is integrated into all
advertising, publications and online content created by LCBO.

The Liquorman's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, which is made by Dartmouth
Spirits in Nova Scotia, is promoted by the Trailer Park Boys and will
be available at LCBO stores for purchase later this week.

Deputy Premier Deb Matthews insists the government takes social
responsibility seriously.

"The paramount issue is social responsibility. When the LCBO has the
benefit of being the only liquor seller in the province, then that
also means that there's a big social responsibility component to it,"
she told reporters.

Then again, the federal Liberal government is planning to legalize
marijuana. So if it's socially responsible to do that, and if booze is
legal, what's the problem with combining the two, I asked Matthews.

Or is is the federal government being socially irresponsible to
legalize pot?

"It's the socially responsible thing to legalize marijuana. I think
it's the right thing to do and we're waiting for the federal
government to give guidelines on exactly how that's to be done," she

Well, here's a solution. Perhaps we should put Trailer Park Boys in
charge of legalizing pot.

The LCBO is the largest purchaser of beverage alcohol in the world.
Perhaps in future they should do a little more due diligence on what
they're stocking before they put it on the shelves.


Here's some of the recipes on the Liquorman's Ol' Dirty Canadian
Whisky website:




Six papers

An entire day to kill

Roll up a six paper joint, grab a bag of chips, and pour yourself a
straight glass of Liquormen's. Today you're getting f----d up and
there's not a goddamn thing Lahey can do about it.






Pull out your hot knives, prepare your throat, and wash it back with a
chilled glass of Liquormen's. Grab a friend and challenge him to a
game of hash hockey.




Let's face it, some days you're going to wake up and start drinking
before 10AM. What's important is that you limit yourself to just a
couple drinks. Pour a few shots of Liquormen's into a glass and go
from there. You deserve it.

"Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles launch Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian
Whisky to honour the legacy of the Old West Bandits. Liquormen's
enters production and becomes available in Atlantic Canada. The Boy's
begin to look into contracts with liquor corporations across the
entire f-----g country.
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