Pubdate: Thu, 17 Dec 2015
Source: Portland Mercury (OR)
Column: Cannabuzz
Copyright: 2015 The Portland Mercury
Author: Josh Jardine


CANNA CLAUS, Marijuanakkah, Chronicwanzaa-however you choose to 
observe, it's the holidaze!

Right now! And you need to buy gifts! Lots of them, and hurry!

No-more than that, ya cheapskate! And look, the good ones are nearly 
gone! Wait! Can't you get that for $10 less by buying it online?

But oh no! What about supporting local businesses?! Don't you care 
about small business owners, you selfish dick? And don't forget, this 
will show people exactly how many dollars' worth you love them, so 
don't fuck it up.

Okay. Take a deep breath, perhaps one that has cannabis vapor in it. 
There's already enough to get stressed out about this holiday season, 
so let's take a moment to chill out a bit and determine what might be 
a nice gift-without needing to resort to selling your plasma.

This is a gift guide, yes, but that doesn't mean the only way to 
enjoy the holidays is to buy people things.

It may sound cliched, but the people who love you want to spend time 
with you, and that doesn't require a purchase of any kind. With all 
that's happening in our world, especially lately, please remember 
that it is people, not things, that are crucial, this and every season.

Or, you could start with some (duh) cannabis.

Provided the recipient is 21 or older, why not gift them a quarter 
ounce of their favorite flower, or a selection of different strains?

A potpourri, if you will. (They just come to me from the heavens, people.

I am but a mere conduit.) Oregon is chock-full of amazing growers, 
and I haven't yet tried one-tenth of what's available in 
dispensaries. So while this isn't a complete list, I feel secure in 
recommending anything from these fine farms: Eco Firma, Chalice, 
Green Bodhi, 7 Points Oregon, Lucid OG, HiFi, or TJ's Organic 
Provisions. They all do great work, and again, so do tons of other 
farms, both indoor and outdoor.

A collection of sativa, indica, hybrid, and CBD strains allow for a 
variety of effects, and you can even find strains that work for 
specific times of day or help with various ailments.

One could vape those purchases, or you could go majorly analog and 
roll up a joint (or five) to put under the tree. In which case, 
you'll want a paper that is thin, and burns clean.

For me, that means a package of Elements or RAW papers.

"But bro," you say, fussing with your man bun. "I only do dabs, not 
flower. What about me?" Yes, what about you indeed?

Put down the torch and gather around, because promotional Santa Claus 
arrived early at my house this year, and he brought a new device for 
concentrate-loving, hairstyle-challenged imbibers just like you. The 
Boost eRig comes from the fine folks at Dr. Dabber (, 
makers of various portable dab pens and fancy attachments. The Boost 
is a battery-powered handheld "e-rig," with a titanium dome-less 
nail, along with a glass water filtration system on top. They claim 
you can get up to 60 uses per battery charge, but I got too blazed to 
keep track, and frankly no one needs 60 dabs in a row. This retails 
for $199.95, which is less than the cost of a skin graft to fix your 
blowtorched fingers, playa.

Or maybe you are one of them far-left "reading" types, who enjoys 
seeing more than 140 characters strung together. (Whatever, 
Poindexter!) Consider these two tomes: Jack Herer: The Definitive 
Collection ($59.95) is a beautiful box set that includes an updated 
12th edition of the game-changing book The Emperor Wears No Clothes, 
a DVD about Jack, and a guide to assessing your smokeables. Before 
Jack Herer was a cannabis strain, he was a man who did more to raise 
awareness about hemp and cannabis than most anyone.

Alternatively, grab the newly released The Medicinal Power of 
Cannabis by John Hicks, M.D. ($16.99). This was my favorite 
cannabis-related book of the year, even with its 57 pages of footnotes.

The author has done an impressive job making the case that the root 
cause of most illnesses is inflammation, and that CBD can be used to 
stop that inflammation and thus heal the problem.

Finally, give yourself the gift of staying upright, and mind your 
edible consumption this season.

Canna-cookies and other treats are wonderful, but it only takes one 
too many to become the "creature that wasn't stirring," save for 
moaning that you're so high you're "going to die."
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom