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ODOR ORDINANCE WILL SPARK AIR FRESHENER INDUSTRY BOOM

I congratulate Peter Walters for igniting an unprecedented response to his satirical letter regarding the absurdity of an odor law in Pendleton.  It received national recognition because no one has ever had the courage to write an essay revolving around the malodorous characteristic of flatulence.

Despite the emphasis on humor, Peter's intent was to draw attention to the city council's focus on the odor of marijuana rather than make decisions that are more relevant to our town's progress.  Kudos to Jane Hill for having the courage to vote against this madness.

When I read that the amendment also addresses the issue of keeping marijuana grow sites hidden from public view, I had a "Eureka!" moment.  As a result of Proposition 91, residents in Oregon will be able to grow their own plants so I foresee a boom in fencing businesses.  However, I think there is a window of opportunity to sell an accessory for marijuana growers.

I will purchase cases of "Car Freshener 50101 Little Tree Air Freshener-Royal Pine." You see them hanging on rear view mirrors placed there by drivers thinking that this will keep a cop from discovering if you've been smoking grass in your vehicle.

When I drive around Pendleton, I've noticed that some people never take down their Christmas lights that hang from the roofs of their homes.  This gave me the idea of marketing my new product, "Odor No More."

I hate to divulge my secret but I welcome competitors.  Let the market determine my success.  I will purchase fishing line and attach air fresheners to hook clip connector swivels every 6 inches.  A grower will only have to tell me the length of the fence and I will deliver and install their order for "Odor No More."

Perhaps this brainstorm will motivate the city council to make a decision regarding medical marijuana as well as explaining how the cost of living in Pendleton will increase dramatically by raising utility costs, permit fees, taxes on property frontage, and other equally loathsome solutions to address the issue of street maintenance.  However, I have one recommendation that serves two purposes.  The city can give away flower seeds that can be planted in potholes as part of our city's beautification program.  The plants will also alert drivers to drive around the pot holes and avoid a visit to Les Schwab for a front end alignment.

Jerry Cronin

Pendleton