Pubdate: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 Source: Winnipeg Free Press (CN MB) Copyright: 2014 Winnipeg Free Press Contact: http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/send_a_letter Website: http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/502 Author: Miss Lonelyhearts Page: E4 THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF SMOKING MARIJUANA BEFORE BED DEAR READERS: People responded passionately to the disgruntled wife of a man who smokes marijuana every single night before going to bed. Here are three of those spirited letters: Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: That letter from Not a Stoner really hit home for me. Being a child of a parent who smoked pot, I think this woman should be thinking of other factors and concerns. So many people think that smoking pot isn't a big deal and don't consider it a real drug, saying it's not addictive, but it's just as serious as any other drug addiction. I grew up knowing my dad smoked, but didn't fully understand it until I was older. I found out after my parents divorced that it was a gateway drug for him that led to the occasional slide down to more serious drugs. In the end, it was a point of embarrassment and shame for me. I was scared my friends would find out, or people would smell it on him. I didn't understand why he had to be high all the time. It was a major part in the end of my parents' marriage: the time spent with other pot-smoking friends rather than us, the money spent on drugs, the mood swings when he wasn't high, and ultimately, my mother not being willing to stand for it anymore. I took it quite personally that he chose drugs over our family when he was given the ultimatum to go to counselling and/or quit. I have heard my share of "What's the big deal? It's just pot," and I think a lot of people just don't understand. How can you teach/preach to your children about the risk of drugs when you're doing the same thing? For this woman, I just don't think him using it before going to bed is a simple issue, I think she should urge her husband to should go to Addictions Foundation of Manitoba to seek help. -- Hated My Dad's Marijuana Smoking, Winnipeg Dear Hated: Her husband has no desire to quit on his own. Unless his wife kicks up a big fuss, it isn't going to happen. Even then, he may insist she change her demand, or he'll leave. She has put up with it for many years, and smoking marijuana before bed is an ingrained part of his daily life. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In response to Not a Stoner, the wife who is upset her husband smokes up before bed every night, I find that a lot of people choose marijuana before bed because it is a great stress-reliever. It calms some people down after a long day and lets all of their stress melt away. On top of that, it does help people sleep. Sleeping pills might help this fellow, but they don't relax muscles and the mind the way that marijuana can. I've also found that some people don't like prescription drugs and trust marijuana more than other drugs, since it is naturally grown in the ground (granted, today's marijuana is more potent and has more chemicals than it did back in the '70s and '80s). So, simply put, this is a "natural" way of getting to sleep and relieving stress before bed. This man's wife may not like it, but it seems a non-issue if it isn't getting in the way of their marriage. I would say there are much worse things your husband could be doing. -- A Smoker Myself, Winnipeg Dear Smoker: Since you also smoke grass, there are no similar taboos or annoyances for you. The drug, the smell and knowing your husband is high every time he makes love to you are simply not a problem for you, but they are very upsetting for the wife who is Not a Stoner. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a guy and enjoy a good toke as much as anybody at an adult party, but why would anyone want to be half in a daze making love with his woman? I want to be alert to every sight, sound, scent, murmur and/or temperature change in my woman. Being stoned means I would only be half awake. If a person needs to be sedated to go to sleep every night, then there are other problems that need tending. Stress will kill you, and that degree of stress will take you out in middle age. -- Party Partaker Only, South End Dear Party Partaker: Your opinion as a person who is an occasional user of marijuana balances out the letters from innocents who equate marijuana with harder drugs like heroin, but don't kid yourself: it's never cute to smoke weed with your kids, even when they have grown up and are attending adult parties with you, just as it feels lousy to see your parents drinking and half in the bag. - --- MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom