Pubdate: Sat, 27 Dec 2014
Source: Winnipeg Free Press (CN MB)
Copyright: 2014 Winnipeg Free Press
Author: Miss Lonelyhearts
Page: E4


DEAR READERS: People responded passionately to the disgruntled wife 
of a man who smokes marijuana every single night before going to bed. 
Here are three of those spirited letters:

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: That letter from Not a Stoner really hit home 
for me. Being a child of a parent who smoked pot, I think this woman 
should be thinking of other factors and concerns. So many people 
think that smoking pot isn't a big deal and don't consider it a real 
drug, saying it's not addictive, but it's just as serious as any 
other drug addiction. I grew up knowing my dad smoked, but didn't 
fully understand it until I was older. I found out after my parents 
divorced that it was a gateway drug for him that led to the 
occasional slide down to more serious drugs.

In the end, it was a point of embarrassment and shame for me. I was 
scared my friends would find out, or people would smell it on him. I 
didn't understand why he had to be high all the time. It was a major 
part in the end of my parents' marriage: the time spent with other 
pot-smoking friends rather than us, the money spent on drugs, the 
mood swings when he wasn't high, and ultimately, my mother not being 
willing to stand for it anymore. I took it quite personally that he 
chose drugs over our family when he was given the ultimatum to go to 
counselling and/or quit. I have heard my share of "What's the big 
deal? It's just pot," and I think a lot of people just don't understand.

How can you teach/preach to your children about the risk of drugs 
when you're doing the same thing? For this woman, I just don't think 
him using it before going to bed is a simple issue, I think she 
should urge her husband to should go to Addictions Foundation of 
Manitoba to seek help. -- Hated My Dad's Marijuana Smoking, Winnipeg

Dear Hated: Her husband has no desire to quit on his own. Unless his 
wife kicks up a big fuss, it isn't going to happen. Even then, he may 
insist she change her demand, or he'll leave. She has put up with it 
for many years, and smoking marijuana before bed is an ingrained part 
of his daily life.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In response to Not a Stoner, the wife who is 
upset her husband smokes up before bed every night, I find that a lot 
of people choose marijuana before bed because it is a great 
stress-reliever. It calms some people down after a long day and lets 
all of their stress melt away. On top of that, it does help people 
sleep. Sleeping pills might help this fellow, but they don't relax 
muscles and the mind the way that marijuana can.

I've also found that some people don't like prescription drugs and 
trust marijuana more than other drugs, since it is naturally grown in 
the ground (granted, today's marijuana is more potent and has more 
chemicals than it did back in the '70s and '80s). So, simply put, 
this is a "natural" way of getting to sleep and relieving stress before bed.

This man's wife may not like it, but it seems a non-issue if it isn't 
getting in the way of their marriage. I would say there are much 
worse things your husband could be doing. -- A Smoker Myself, Winnipeg

Dear Smoker: Since you also smoke grass, there are no similar taboos 
or annoyances for you. The drug, the smell and knowing your husband 
is high every time he makes love to you are simply not a problem for 
you, but they are very upsetting for the wife who is Not a Stoner.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a guy and enjoy a good toke as much as 
anybody at an adult party, but why would anyone want to be half in a 
daze making love with his woman? I want to be alert to every sight, 
sound, scent, murmur and/or temperature change in my woman. Being 
stoned means I would only be half awake.

If a person needs to be sedated to go to sleep every night, then 
there are other problems that need tending. Stress will kill you, and 
that degree of stress will take you out in middle age. -- Party 
Partaker Only, South End

Dear Party Partaker: Your opinion as a person who is an occasional 
user of marijuana balances out the letters from innocents who equate 
marijuana with harder drugs like heroin, but don't kid yourself: it's 
never cute to smoke weed with your kids, even when they have grown up 
and are attending adult parties with you, just as it feels lousy to 
see your parents drinking and half in the bag.
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