Pubdate: Thu, 06 Nov 2014
Source: Trentonian, The (NJ)
Column: Passing the Joint
Copyright: 2014 The Trentonian
Contact:  http://www.trentonian.com
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1006
Author: Edward Forchion, NJWeedman.com For The Trentonian

SUICIDE IS NOT A CRAZY OPTION

As a kid, other than the occasional mention of it in church I had 
never thought of suicide. That was the case until Freddie Prinze Sr, 
star of the 1970s sitcom Chico and the Man, did it on January 29, 
1977, when I was in the seventh grade. At the time I thought it was 
fascinating and dwelled on it for months, but I knew better than to 
tell anyone. Just acknowledging you think about Suicide invites being 
locked up by the do-gooders. I thought of it a lot. At that time I 
thought of it as a far-off plan - to be accomplished when I was 50 
and old. (Yeah at 14  50 seemed old). I thought it was dumb that 
Freddie would do it when he was just 22 and hadn't lived enough of 
life. I thought he was rich too, since he was on TV.

I thought 50 would be a good time for me to do it, after I was 
successful - happy, rich and famous. I'm now 50 and I only have one 
of those and its questionable: What is "fame?" Is it in the eye of 
the beholder? I don't know, but the point is I'm 50 and I contemplate 
about when.

I'm not irrational; while I'm having health issues, they aren't 
immediately life threatening. I don't think of it as I'm going to 
hurt myself - I think of it as a goal I had planned for decades. The 
conclusion of a segment of my soul, a calculated - purposeful - 
execution of a 40-year-old plan to end my own life with: Suicide.

Suicide has been in the news a lot lately, it seems. The suicides of 
Robin Williams and local marijuana attorney William Buckman both 
seemed to resonate with me. Robin Williams character "Mork" was one 
of my favorite childhood TV characters. I also had the pleasure of 
meeting Robin Williams in 1984 when I was a room service bellboy at 
the Sands Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City. He was one of the first 
celebrities I waited on and he caught me smoking weed in the room 
service elevators (he didn't use the guest elevators to avoid the 
public). He stayed in the hotel for a long time, I saw him daily for 
weeks and he knew my name. I was impressed with him and as a result I 
always watched his movies, "Jumanji" one of his best movies ever, in 
my opinion.

I met Mr. Buckman at the beginning of my marijuana activism in the 
late 90s. I loved his profiling precedent setting case (Morka et al. 
v. State of New Jersey) and obviously followed his marijuana-reform 
advocacy efforts. Now I'm admiring his decision to "go on" when he 
wanted to "go on." That to me is the ultimate in bravery.

Question: If Robin Williams or Bill Buckman had told the press they 
planned on killing themselves, would they have been arrested and 
thrown in a hospital? I wonder if I will be "arrested" and held for 
my own safety in an institution now that I'm 50. Will it be family, 
friend, or government who will attempt to impose their faith, will, 
or authority on my own spiritual decision?

A California woman named Brittany Maynard has generated worldwide 
media attention for her decision to end her life. She was diagnosed 
with a terminal case of brain cancer and didn't plan on dying the 
horrible death her disease mandates. Her decision is being called a 
brave choice, and no one in her home State of California arrested her 
when she revealed her plans to move to Oregon to legally kill herself 
on November 1, she did it too. Good for her going out the way she wanted.

No one should have arrested her or me, but I'm used to being treated 
like "Just Another N-word" (J.A.N.), so please use this column as 
proof that I'm not crazy at any future mental competency hearing. I 
had known I'd do it at 50 since I was a teenager. I just didn't know 
what the exact date would be - Brittany Maynard has now inspired me 
to pick a date as well.

I think religious arguments against physician-assisted suicide fall 
flat: I think of suicide as my religious conclusion, a conscious 
spiritual decision to end this segment of my journey - I don't need 
the approval or the faith of Christian authorities, nor state heathen 
to tell me when I can "move on." Freedom of Religion is protected. It 
is my religious right to travel to the next realm, to cash this life 
in and seek another shot at it when I want too as well.

Of course the "do-gooders" will argue against it here in Jersey. So 
like Brittany I too plan to fly to Oregon, where in addition to 
having a functional medical marijuana law there also is legal 
assisted suicide law - two things New Jersey doesn't have. BTW - I 
don't even need assistance I plan on pulling the trigger myself.
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom