Pubdate: Sun, 26 Jan 2014
Source: Boston Herald (MA)
Copyright: 2014 The Boston Herald, Inc
Contact:  http://news.bostonherald.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/53
Note: Prints only very short LTEs.
Author: Howie Carr

NOW WE'RE ALL DOPES

Marijuana Makes You Stupid.

Nobody wants to acknowledge the obvious fact, but that's what this 
whole legalization debate is all about. That's why most of the 
candidates for governor, of both parties, have come out against 
legalization, even if they have to obfuscate why they're opposed to 
the Colorado-ization of Massachusetts.

After all, the pols can't offend that pivotal ganja-American voting 
bloc, assuming they can remember to vote in November.

It's left to comedians like Jay Leno Thursday night to poke around 
the truth: "Doctors warn that pot smoking impairs young people's 
thinking, which of course makes them much more likely to sign up for 
Obamacare."

Speaking of which, is it a coincidence that America's best-known 
marijuana smoker thinks there are 57 states, that they speak Austrian 
in Austria and pronounces "corps" as "corpse."

And Barry was the brains of the Choom Gang.

Don't flatter yourself, potheads - you're not martyrs. No one wants 
to put you in jail. This isn't 1971, and by the way, even in 1971, 
hardly anyone in Massachusetts was ever sent to the can for simple 
possession of weed.

The NSA is not tracking any pot smokers, and neither is the IRS. 
They're too busy harassing the real enemies of society, like the Tea 
Party, and I don't mean "Texas tea."

No, the issue here is, when you legalize something, you get more of 
it. Think gambling, illegal aliens. It's in everyone's best interest, 
including the Cheech and Chong community, to minimize the number of 
people who are finishing life at home in their spare time.

It's not that people who smoke weed go crazy, a la "Reefer Madness." 
It's that a lot of them stop going anywhere, except to the refrigerator.

If you smoke and it's not a problem, good for you. Keep tokin' up. 
You obviously have no problems maintaining your stash, and no one's 
going to bother you.

Just ask Aaron Hernandez. He never got lugged until he started shooting people.

The 
"George-Washington-used-hemp-to-make-uniforms-for-the-Continental-Army-dude" 
crowd always claims that marijuana isn't as dangerous a drug as alcohol.

That's essentially what Obama said, and it's true. But so what? Most 
stoners are also pounding down the Bud Lights big time, at least 
after working hours. And that's a problem.

As Bob Dylan once said of combining alcohol and marijuana: "Like a 
fool I mixed them/ An' it strangled up my mind/ An' now people just 
get uglier/ An' I have no sense of time."

Exactly. And you can't drive worth a damn either.

The libertarian position is that everyone has the unalienable right 
to get bleeped up. That was Ron Paul's real platform all those years, 
not reining in the Federal Reserve.

The only "reserve" his voters cared about was the extra box of 
Twinkies out in the Volkswagen bus.

The defect with the Ron Paul argument is that we now live in a 
welfare state. If you decide to quit working and devote your entire 
stoned life to rolling the perfect joint and deconstructing the 
collected oeuvre of Jimi Hendrix and his Band of Gypsies, the 
taxpayers are now on the hook for supporting you.

I am a taxpayer. I protest. Millions of Obama voters are already 
leeching off me, they've got me working like a coal-mine pony. I need 
a little help here on the second shift.

Sorry dude, I know it's a bummer, totally, but that's the way life is 
- - there's always a lot of sticks, stems and oregano mixed in there 
with the buds.
- ---
MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom