Pubdate: Sun, 14 Apr 2013
Source: Denver Post (CO)
Copyright: 2013 The Denver Post Corp
Contact:  http://www.denverpost.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/122
Author: Meredith C. Carroll
Page: 4D

WE'RE MAKING A MESS OF THIS POT THING, COLORADO

You know how sometimes when you smoke pot the wheels in your mind
start turning with the sort of creativity and ingenuity not seen since
the invention of Taco Bell's Cool Ranch Dorito Locos Taco? How your
imagination positively explodes with intricate details of a grand
vision you'll start implementing just as soon you're done watching
"Pineapple Express"?

Yeah, me neither, but let's just go with it for a minute,
anyway.

People who smoke pot with any amount of frequency see things
differently than those who don't smoke pot. Therein lies the issue
since pot became kinda-sorta-but-still-not-really legal in Colorado.

Coloradans are now divided into two groups: those who think and act
like normal adults, and those who smoke pot regularly, have
successfully viewed Seth Rogen's entire filmography while polishing
off a bag of the aforementioned tacos and just know in their bones
they're going to singlehandedly reimagine and reinvigorate life in the
Centennial State even if their ambitious ideas don't always seem so
sharp once the smoke clears.

There has recently been a comedy of errors around these parts so
remarkable that Cheech and Chong are no doubt sitting back admiringly
and taking notes.

Part of the joke appears to be rooted in the fact that the state's
medical marijuana watchdog group needs its own watchdog group. A state
audit released in late March shows regulators who were supposed to be
supervising Colorado's medical marijuana industry couldn't manage to
self identify "its proper role" or do a "sufficient job managing its
programs and finances," according to a March 26 story in The Denver
Post.

More than $1 million was spent developing a seed-to-sale inventory
tracking system, but then the group "couldn't come up with another
$400,000 to put it in place." It's almost an O'Henry-like scenario,
except instead of the hair combs for no hair and a watch band without
a watch, some bonehead forgot it's impossible to eat a peanut butter
sandwich if you don't have also have a glass of milk to wash it down.

More than 40 percent of marijuana business license applications filed
in 2010 have yet to be processed, and far too many questionable
licenses have been granted. The punch line, however? Not the
underreported sales tax revenue or unexplained "weak controls" over
the destruction of marijuana seizures.

No, it's the purchase of $28,000 spent on seven desk extenders and
$4,200 on four office chairs. Somewhere, a bunch of college stoners
are weak in the knees at the prospect of graduating to a job where
they, too, can get paid to recline in high style instead of slumping
on a third-hand lumpy couch with questionable stains in the common
area outside of their dorm room.

Then there are the "green" entrepreneurs in Denver- My 420 Tours - who
just can't wait to start the nation's first-ever marijuana tourism
company that will include pot-friendly hotels and cannabis-themed
concerts and events. They're so anxious in fact, that their rollout
comes in just six days, despite the fact that nonmedical marijuana
sales will still be illegal in Colorado for a few more months.

Some landlords are scratching their heads wondering how to handle
complaints from residents about pot smoke leaking into the hallways of
their buildings. There's also the decidedly less funny news that
Children's Hospital Colorado treated 14 children in a 2-year span
after they ingested pot-laced goodies such as gummyworms and brownies,
compared to none in the previous 4-year period before medical
marijuana became legal.

A Pew Research survey released on April 4 revealed 52 percent of
Americans now support the legalization of marijuana, but if news
continues seeping out of Colorado about the sticky and moronic nuances
of the process, it seems likely that not only will no other states
will follow suite, but someone also might just decide to step up here
and repeal the measures already kinda sorta in place.

Which means it's probably time to take a page out of the
college-stoners handbook and by all means, keep smoking and dreaming
if that's your thing, but at the same time, stick a rolled-up towel
under the door and act like you've been there, people.
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MAP posted-by: Matt