Pubdate: Thu, 11 Apr 2013
Source: Maple Ridge Times (CN BC)
Copyright: 2013 Lower Mainland Publishing Group Inc
Contact:  http://www.mrtimes.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1372
Column: Here and There
Author: Alan Woodland

LANGUAGE-WISE, EVERYTHING APPEARS TO BE GOING TO POT

Not long ago, if someone had told you that selected American states
were going to legalize the enjoyment of marijuana, you would have
wondered what they had been smoking.

It's all going to pot.

Suddenly the language is changing to reflect this new reality. Words
that used to mean one thing, now mean something very different.

Take potash for example, would you have thought it was a flaky
substance a cannabis lover brushes from his coat?

The innocent potato has become today's widely accepted joystick and
good old poteen is more potent than ever before.

A pot boy works in a tavern washing glasses and serving customers; but
not for much longer.

And do you remember when a pot boiler was a work of literature or
music produced merely to make a living? That was then.

But, surprisingly, the apothecary, who used to prescribe and sell
drugs, will be doing just that in the future.

I wondered for a while how the pot got into the hippopotamus until I
learned that it eats plants, stays under water, and lives by a river -
Greek for river - potamus: nothing to do with hemp, though smokers may
go with the flow.

It is only recently that experts have described pot belly as a
condition caused by taking in too much air with the bud, and that
being pot bound is the result of regularly smoking without eating your
veggies.

The dictionary definition of a pot herb is enough to raise a smile on
the strictest magistrate: "Any plant whose leaves and stems are boiled
as a vegetable, such as spinach. Any plant used as seasoning in cooking."

"No, your honour, I wasn't ingesting it, I was just boiling it to
spice up the burgers for the barbecue."

While we wait for B.C. to get its act together, we had better be
careful when we invite a few friends round for potluck.

Guests are invited to contribute whatever is available. The pot roast
and pot pie they bring may be different dishes from expected.

Pot bound, once an innocent botanical term now means someone who may
be headed to a hash stash - a pot hunter. Or could he be looking for
the luxurious silver-white potassium?

In order to have enough money to support the regular use of the weed
we grow so well in the Lower Mainland, we may need to budget.

As B.C. bud is considered the best, it is likely that the same people
who add misery to our lives by heavily taxing beer, wine, spirits, and
tobacco, will not miss this opportunity to benefit from what they
consider human weakness. Watch for the introduction of a new pot tax.

As the number of people requesting the easy availability of pot
increases and they see themselves as comrades in arms fighting against
an oppressive regime, there will come to pass what will be known as
the Buddy system.

B.C. Buddies will be strong in their desire for change. Government
despots may try to nip it in the bud but the potent potters will
refuse to budge.

As I write this I am hoping there is no truth to the rumour that the
now legal pot producers below the border are exporting a new product
called Wiser Bud. This remarkable substance is reported to aid in the
clearing of fuzzy thinking and to allow the user to understand and
solve problems at a higher level than ever before.

The more bud, the wiser.
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MAP posted-by: Matt