Pubdate: Thu, 10 Jan 2013
Source: Reno News & Review (NV)
Copyright: 2013, Chico Community Publishing, Inc.
Author: Larry L. Wissbeck


Re "Decriminalization" (News, Jan. 3):

Go back, go back! I implore Nevadans to forego any thoughts of 
decriminalizing the "Devil Weed." Perhaps my experience on New Year's 
Eve will be instructive: I "found" a single joint of marijuana lying 
on the sidewalk here in Paonia. (I have no proof, of course, but I 
strongly suspect it was planted there by the Mexican drug cartels.) 
Realizing that it was now "legal" here in Colorado, I lit it up and 
took a tentative puff. What ensued can only be described as a 
nightmare. The first thing I did was search (fruitlessly) in the 
immediate area for a stash of Heroin or perhaps a few pills of 
Oxycontin. Then I searched my now fogged brain for the location of an 
open gun show so I might purchase a Bushmaster assault rifle or some 
other means of committing mass murder or at least an armed robbery. 
(None were open at that midnight hour.) Having no other lawless 
options available, I hopped in my car with the intention of running 
down pedestrians or smashing into other vehicles. By the merest 
circumstance I was only a half block from home. My aging Ford Taurus 
was unable to attain the 100 mph speed I so fervently sought. (I was 
able to exceed the posted speed limit by 5 mph, and when I got home I 
thoughtlessly parked with my wheels a good 15 inches from the curb, 
fully three inches outside what's permitted by local ordinance!) I 
stumbled into the house barely able to constrain my urge to kick the 
dog or beat my spouse. Thence to sleep. (A coma?) Now, as that 
poisonous THC slowly relinquishes its grip on my body and mind, I am 
returning to normal. The Iraq war was legitimate. The rich are 
deserving of tax relief. Personal freedom is mostly too dangerous to 
contemplate. A few more hours of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and 
sanity will return. Be careful out there. Though the details of that 
experience are a little fuzzy, I'm pretty sure it happened much as I 
have described it.

Larry L. Wissbeck

Paonia, Colo.
- ---
MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom