Pubdate: Wed, 06 Jan 2010 Source: Montreal Gazette (CN QU) Copyright: 2010 Canwest Publishing Inc. Contact: http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/letters.html Website: http://www.montrealgazette.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/274 Author: Mike Boone, Staff Writer MOBSTERS SHOULD LEARN TO BE MORE SOCIAL WITH BFFS The problem: A power vacuum in the Montreal Mafia. The solution: Social networking. Nicolo (Nick) Rizzuto was gunned down in Notre Dame de Grace last week. His untimely passing suggests a degree of organizational disarray in organized crime. As you read these words, old men in grey fedoras are sipping espresso in as-yet-unfirebombed cafes and discussing what can be done to restore the decorum that is good for business. But time may have passed them by. Holy Paolo Violi, it's 2010. Stakeholders in criminal enterprises, notably the drug trade, include street gangs, bikers and enough of the vestigial West End gang to ensure a Point St. Charles brogue is still the working language of the port. How can this babel of disparate tongues and interests be reconciled so that misunderstandings do not escalate into conflict? One word: Facebook. Everyone is on it. So maybe it's time for mobsters to put away the rolls of quarters they keep for pay phones (which you can never find anyway) and embrace new ways to reach out and touch - or threaten - someone. The Mob needs a bulletin board on which information is instantly accessible. Using Facebook, a wiseguy can roll out of bed at the crack of noon, read what his associates are doing and post an update to his home page. Examples: Frankie Clams: Did you see Rocco's wife at the boss's funeral? Marone, she's getting a big ass on her. LOL. Comment: Rocco says "Watch your mouth!" Jimmy the Weasel was tagged in an RCMP surveillance photo. Fat Tony: I have to go all the way to Montreal North to see Jean-Baptiste. He wants me to lower the price. I think we can do business, but I'll have to stay for lunch. Comment: Sal says "Not that spicy goat stew. I delivered a kilo up there, ate that stuff, was sick for a week. Rocco: Hey, my goomah posted pictures of herself in a thong. Check them out. Big Angelo: Spent all day yesterday playing Farmville. Got frustrated and whacked all the chickens. Comment: Nino the Needler says "How's anger management going, you fat fanook. BTW, play Mafia Wars. It's easier." Point Spread Sal: Bernstein, that degenerate gambler Jewish dentist, lost 20 large when Switzerland beat Russia. Now he can't pay and wants more time. What kind of cafone bets junior hockey? Comment: Jimmy Sausage says "I carried that strunz for two months after Boston knocked the Canadiens out of the playoffs. Break his fingers." Phil the Shark pokes all his clients to wish a Happy New Year and remind them vig is due Friday. Big Angie: I got this off YouTube. The scene in Scarface where he says, "Say hello to my little friend." I love that part. Comment: Mikey Boots says "Pacino chews the scenery like it's my mother's osso bucco. He was better in G1 and G2." Sonny the Bull: Here's a link to the QFL construction union website. Some useful phone numbers there. Comment: Guido says: "Yeah, but they have to update it. A few of those guys are in the joint." Tommy the Florist: I hate to be pushy, but it's been four days since the funeral. Any chance of being paid? Comment: Vito says "Sure. Send the bill to Nick Rizzuto, bwaaah-ha-ha-ha!" Sammy the Bull: Late for dinner tonight. I got business that might take a while. Comment: Signora Bull says "Don't forget the list I gave you. Bring the cannoli. Leave the gun." - --- MAP posted-by: Richard R Smith Jr