Pubdate: Wed, 15 Apr 2009
Source: Vashon-Maury Island Beachcomber (WA)
Copyright: 2009 Vashon-Maury Island Beachcomber
Contact:  http://www.vashonbeachcomber.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2606
Author: Deborah Anderson
Note: - Deborah Anderson is a family care specialist who created the 
parent abstinence program "I'll Walk With You." Her parenting blog is 
at www.onewiththerootbeer.com.
Referenced: http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v09/n413/a03.html

YOUTH SUBSTANCE ABUSE IS NEITHER NECESSARY NOR INEVITABLE

Editor's Note: This column is a response to the column by Joe 
Sutton-Holcomb that ran in last week's Beachcomber.

Dear Joe - and all you other wonderful teenagers on Vashon: First of 
all, thank you so much for taking the time to articulate all that you 
have written about adolescent drug and alcohol use on the Island. 
It's a prevailing attitude that needed to be addressed in public.

Noodling around the Internet trying to find a poem by Ann Kiemel 
Anderson called "I Love the Word Impossible," I found this quote:

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by (people) who find it 
easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the 
power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an 
opinion. It's a dare." (Ahmar)

For more than 10 years now I've had an impossible dream. I've had 
this vision of the day the news reporter comes to the Island to find 
out why our particular culture has half the recreational drug and 
alcohol use stats of other rural communities.

You see, Joe, what they haven't told you is that it's not just our 
community. Rural communities tend to have higher than average use.

I've dreamed of the day that all the efforts of the adults and the 
desires of the teenagers have combined to bring the statistics down.

You're right. Most of the use is the benign, "I'm bored" and there's 
nothing else to do, or "I've just accomplished something really 
great" (like a sports victory or a music or theater production) and I 
need to unwind and celebrate (do we call that Phelpsing now?). In 
many ways, the youth population mimics the adult population.

Here's the sorrow in that. You, and I mean all teenagers on Vashon, 
are an immensely talented and privileged group of kids. Smart people 
gravitate to the Island, and they have smart kids. Wealthy people 
gravitate to the Island, and they have kids that have so much access 
to resources that with our higher than average use statistic we have 
virtually no crime. Few, if any, of the kids on the Island have to 
steal to get drugs or alcohol. They may have to take their parents' 
stuff or some friends parents', but nobody's knocking over the liquor 
store or Mom's or the Chevron. They don't have to.

Here's where I believe you are wrong. Drinking and drugging during 
adolescence are neither necessary nor inevitable.

And here's the hard cold fact. It is not the job of any adult to 
provide entertainment or engaging activities for teenagers on the 
Island. It's our job to support the interests and gifts and talents 
of our older teenagers and connect them with ways to live their 
dreams and explore their possibilities. Adults are not a Wii handset.

Joe, it is the greatest privilege of any adult to blow air under the 
wings of a teenager. Never in your life will you again have the 
freedom to explore who you are in terms of your gifts and abilities.

Take advantage of it. Your responsibilities are limited. It's all 
about you. Don't waste in downing a bottle of beer or rolling your 
own. THAT's boring.

Everyone, every adult has to learn how to let down and relax in 
healthy ways. Every adult is in charge of their own boredom levels. 
It's behavior you're going to have to learn. You might as well start now.

Yes, hormones that won't settle down for a while and a brain that is 
still developing will be a hindrance for all of you, in a way. But 
what you call impossible is really the healthiest, most 
self-nurturing path you can take.

Do you need to rebel? We all do at times. Shape that rebellion creatively.

Think of something no one has ever done before. Then do it.

You are a gifted writer. It's never too early to start the next Great 
American Novel.

Want to be with friends? Scattergories, my friend. Beat them at 
Scattergories. Boring? Reshape the definition.

Sure, the adults set a bad example sometimes. No excuse. Choose sober 
anyway. There are now dozens of adults who are committed to learning 
how to raise children so they choose that. Some are lobbying that no 
education-based fundraiser would serve alcohol.

See, the bottom line is that at the end of that time of hanging out, 
when you all get quietly drunk and because it didn't seem like that 
big of a deal and you don't feel that impaired, you get into your car 
and quietly become another kind of statistic.

Drinking has a rollover effect (pun intended) and then somebody 
doesn't get to live their dream.

Here's a statistic. No teenager on Vashon ever walked away from a 
drunk driving accident without being hurt or watching a friend die.

We can do it. We can do the impossible. That's a fact.
- ---
MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom