Pubdate: Mon, 28 Jan 2008
Source: Pipe Dream (NY Edu)
Copyright: 2008 Pipe Dream
Contact: http://www.bupipedream.com/pipeline_web/contact.php
Website: http://www.bupipedream.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/4584
Author: William Min, Columnist

TAXING ILLEGAL DRUGS IS A CRIME ITSELF

An inside source, who asked to remain anonymous and also wanted to 
give a shout-out to Natalie in cubicle 420 C, has confirmed that 
state government officials sniff the tips of Sharpie markers during 
conference meetings. The source also revealed that aside from their 
usual routine of ignoring senior citizens and relocating homeless 
people, local politicians are looking to continue their efforts in 
the war against drugs.

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, who looks like the illegitimate love child of 
John Kerry and a chimpanzee, wants New York to join the likes of 
Tennessee, North Carolina and 27 other states that have already 
approved the taxation of illegal substances such as marijuana, 
cocaine and moonshine. Tennessee has been taxing illegal drugs since 
2004 and has made over $3.5 million, 75 percent of which goes to 
local law enforcement agencies. In 2005, Tennessee's Department of 
Revenue assessed a $1.1 million fine to Jeremy Rogers for trafficking 
2 tons of marijuana from Arizona to Tennessee (why would he get his 
weed from Arizona?). The reason was because he failed to comply with 
the state's Unauthorized Substances Tax. Jail time and criminal fines 
were given separately.

The Unauthorized Substances Tax is simple. It allows drug dealers to 
anonymously purchase stamps in person (they may know what you look 
like, but at least they don't know your name) from the Department of 
Revenue based on the type and weight of their drugs of choice.  The 
taxes are $3.50 for 1 gram of marijuana and $50 for 1 gram of 
cocaine. Possessing marijuana or cocaine is still illegal and anyone 
found with such substances is still subjected to the penal system.

Luckily, the drug dealers are not alone in defending their business 
of providing mind-altering drugs to college students and middle-aged 
office workers. "It's just a veiled attempt by the government to get 
these guys to come in and incriminate themselves for possessing 
drugs," said Jonathan A. Smart, an attorney of someone who was 
arrested with "special Rice Krispies Treats."

North Carolina levied their taxes on illegal substances so high that 
a federal appeals court ruled that the state unconstitutionally 
penalized drug dealers twice for the same crime: once with jail and 
once with the tax, which violates the double jeopardy law. It's 
pretty bad that a federal court has to be the one to tell you that 
you're unconstitutional.

It is certainly one way for state governments to make money and with 
New York state's $4.4 billion deficit, no wonder Gov. Spitzer is 
pushing for it. Mr. Spitzer's aides say that it can provide extra 
revenue of $17 million a year.

These state governments can't have it both ways. They should either 
make illegal drugs legal and then tax them, or keep them illegal and 
tax free. These 29 state governments want you to know that certain 
drugs are illegal, but if you buy it anyway, they want a cut. A big 
cut. A cut big enough for their governors to get that second summer 
home in Florida (possibly retirement investment).

Don't these governors know that having a tax on illegal drugs means 
the terrorists win? Are our politicians so money-hungry, they have 
resorted to taking money from criminals? This is idiocy at its best. 
If not even drug dealers are safe from taxes, there's no escape for 
anyone. I have an idea of who's next on the list for taxation: nuns. 
Those outfits aren't free (but still are sexy), ladies.

Screw democracy, I'm going to go live with penguins.  They trade with 
fish, don't believe in taxes and plus they have great fashion sense. 
Wait a minute, I'm allergic to fish. Damn you bureaucracy, you win again. 
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake