Pubdate: Wed, 04 Apr 2007
Source: San Diego City Beat (CA)
Copyright: 2007 San Diego City Beat
Author: Edwin Decker
Bookmark: (Cannabis - California)
Bookmark: (Decrim/Legalization)

Sordid Tales


Man, oh man, am I aggravated to all-Hell. It's been almost a month 
now and I haven't been able to replenish my pot supply. I know the 
reason, too. It's the goddamned Border Patrol. They've been doing a 
kick-ass job lately over there at the San Ysidro crossing. Every time 
you turn around, there's another story about another huge bust. A 
couple of weeks ago, I read a U-T story reporting that agents at the 
San Ysidro and El Centro borders collectively nabbed 10,000 pounds of 
pot in one week, and because of busts like this, I can't get my 
goddamned hands on any goddamned Mexican weed.

Oh sure, there's still plenty of kind bud floating around. Kind bud 
(also known as ganja, indoor, chronic, dank and stank) is a 
higher-quality weed. It is potent and pungent and can be grown by 
anyone with $500 and an oversized closet. Since kind bud doesn't have 
to make that perilous trek across the border, there's plenty of it. 
The problem is, I smoke Mexican weed.

Now, admitting that one smokes Mexican (also known as mecky, mexy, 
shake or schwag) when one lives in Ocean Beach is tantamount to 
social suicide. OB is primarily populated with pot snobs. I can't 
tell you how many times I've pulled out my trusty film canister of 
schwag during one of our back-alley powwows behind the bar, only to 
watch my potsnobbian friends recoil in disgust as if the canister was 
filled with infected monkey entrails.

"How can you smoke that shit!?" they howl in disbelief.

And I always have to tell them, "Not that it's anything to you, but I 
smoke mecky because it suits my needs better." For one thing, Mexican 
is cheaper. It's easily half the price. More importantly, it is a 
weaker strain of marijuana than its indoor cousins. Mecky has half as 
much THC, and, for me, that's a good thing. I need my weed to be 
weaker. I'm a marijuana lightweight. When I smoke kind bud I get 
overstoned. Then I can't do anything right: I can't talk, I can't 
read, I can't sleep, I can't drive, I can't screw--I can't even write 
when I get that fumigated. It took me more than an hour to write what 
you've just read because I'm overstoned on chronic at the moment, 
which really sucks because I'm behind schedule.

Check this out: Since THC is the active ingredient in pot, and 
there's more THC in kind bud than there is in mecky, and the war on 
drugs is forcing me to smoke kind bud--then the war on drugs is 
making me get more stoned than I want to.

Isn't that a gas? It'd be like blocking the distribution of light 
cigarettes, thus making people smoke Marlboro Reds.

I know, I know, some of you are saying that marijuana is illegal and 
I shouldn't be smoking it at all. Well, call me an anarchist. Call me 
a lefty loon. Call me a non-supporter-of-the-troops-type person. But 
I do not recognize the right of any person, group or government to 
determine what I do with my body so long as what I do with it doesn't 
harm anyone else.

Some people argue that consuming narcotics does harm somebody else. 
They say people are dying over the stuff: border agents and police 
and politicians on both sides of the border are losing their lives 
fighting the war on drugs and are therefore victims of my drug 
consumption. They say it's the high demand that creates America's 
drug problem, and I couldn't disagree more. There's a high demand for 
milk, but we don't have milk wars at the border. Nobody's smuggling 
cows in the wheel wells of U-Hauls, no shootouts at the border with 
heavily armed milkmen. No, the problem isn't demand; the problem is 
the prohibition of something that is in demand, and it is that 
prohibition, actually, that is illegal and immoral because it impedes 
my constitutional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of, you 
know, fun cool shit. Don't misunderstand. I feel terrible for anyone 
who dies in the crossfire of this ridiculous war on drugs, but I 
absolutely do not feel responsible.

You know what I wonder sometimes? I wonder if there are any Border 
Patrol officers who realize the war on drugs is bullshit. I sure hope 
so. Sometimes I like to imagine there is this lone agent who believes 
prohibition is a colossal mistake. In my mind, he's one of these 
activist types, prone to mouth off his opinions in the locker room, 
or in the patrol car, or in morning meetings. He gets into heated 
arguments with his pro-prohibition colleagues about how, if we 
legalize drugs in this country, we could use the tax money to make a 
better society: Some if it could be allocated to rebuild libraries 
and repair city infrastructure, some of it could go toward 
drug-awareness campaigns and the rest could go to rehabilitation and 
treatment. Then this free-thinking warrior border agent hero of my 
mind would tell his gung-ho drug-hating buddies how decriminalizing 
drugs would ultimately untie their hands. How all those wasted hours 
searching for drugs could have been better spent searching for 
something, you know, something that truly threatens society, 
something like--hmm, well let me think about it for a second--oh 
yeah, I know, how about they use the extra time searching for guys 
with bombs who want to blow up people and buildings with them?

"How about that positive side effect to legalizing drugs?" he would snort.

Oh well, such dreams only lead to disappointment. But thanks for 
trying, Free Thinking Warrior Border Agent Hero. I know we're a long 
way from drug legalization, but, in the meantime, I was thinking, 
maybe you could lay off the weed busts for a bit? All you have to do 
is let a little get though so I won't have to ingest more THC than is 
necessary and go broke doing it. So I don't walk around overstoned 
all the time. So I can make a deadline. Come on, man, can you give a 
brutha a break?
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman