Pubdate: Mon, 22 Oct 2007
Source: Record, The (Kitchener, CN ON)
Copyright: 2007 The Record
Contact:  http://www.therecord.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/225
Author: Cherri Greeno
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth)

STAYING ON THE RIGHT PATH

Increased Freedom And Choices Can Lead To Criminal Lifestyle

Jay Fewkes was just 13 when he smoked marijuana for the  first time. 
He was trying to impress an older crowd,  trying to "be the cool kid 
who fit in," he says.

His decision soon led him down a disastrous path.  Marijuana took a 
back seat to other, more addictive  drugs like mushrooms, acid and 
crystal methamphetamine.

Although the Baden teen had a factory job at the time,  Fewkes soon 
found himself selling drugs so he could  afford his new lifestyle.

"It became my personality, my image," he says.

He was the cool guy, the party guy. The tough, don't  mess with me kind of guy.

Now, at 27, Fewkes is clean and reflective. He says it  was a 
combination of fitting in with a certain crowd  and boredom that led 
to his wrong choices.

Experts agree that these are two common factors that  can turn a well 
behaved child toward a criminal  lifestyle.

Waterloo regional police Staff Sgt. Daryl Goetz said  it's important 
for parents to keep their children  active and involved in sports or 
social clubs.

"If they don't have anything to do, they'll create  their own 
excitement," he said.

The critical "crossover" age for children is from age  11 to 16 when, 
Goetz says, kids switch from grade  school to high school and when 
they find themselves  with more freedom and choices.

"They are forming who they are and they are more  accessible to peer 
pressure," he said.

At this age, kids typically look for support and a  place to fit in 
and, if they can't find it in the right  place, they are easily 
swayed. They could end up  joining a gang or taking part in criminal 
activity, he  said.

"They should be fitting into a hockey team or a soccer  club but if 
left to their own devices they'll create  their own (group)," he said.

"Kids want to belong . . . so if they see there's an  opportunity to 
belong to a group where they'll get  support they'll gravitate to it."

And once they do this, he said, "it's very hard to pull  them back."

Parents need to be aware of what their child is doing  and who they 
are doing it with, he said.

"Family support at home is key," he said.

Maureen Murphy, senior co-ordinator for the youth  program at the 
John Howard Society of Waterloo  Wellington, agreed and said 
inconsistency is one of the  biggest factors that can lead a child to 
turn to criminal behaviour.

For instance, she said, parents have to be consistent  on rules and 
on what they expect from their children.  If you set a curfew one 
night, stick to it for future  nights, she said.

Consistency shows that children can rely on their  parents and 
teaches them values. It also shows that you  are going to stand by 
what you say, she said.

While some believe children from lower income families  are more 
prone to commit crime, Murphy said that's not  always true.

"If there's a utopia for children it's one person that  loved them," she said.

If your child does find himself in trouble with the  law, Murphy said 
it's important that you stand by him.

She advises that you talk to your children and ask why  they did it. 
Was it because of the friends they're  hanging out with? Were they 
bored? Did they want to  impress someone?

If children have to attend court, Murphy said parents  should always 
go with them.

"It shows that they have somebody they can count on,"  she said.

To prevent children from turning to crime, Murphy said  it's 
important that parents get them involved in  community events, sports 
teams or groups at an early  age. Parents should also get to know 
their child's friends and invite them into the home.

The Alliance for Children and Youth of Waterloo Region  refer to a 
list of developmental assets or positive  qualities that can help 
children as they grow up.

These assets, which were first developed by the Search  Institute in 
Minnesota, are divided into external and  internal assets.

External assets are ones children get from outside  sources such as 
friends, school and community  organizations. They include such 
things as support --  either from the family, school or other adults 
- -- which children need to feel loved, appreciated and cared for.

It also includes the importance of empowerment --  allowing children 
to feel valued, safe and respected,  and the importance of setting 
boundaries and  expectations so children can have clear rules and 
consistent consequences.

It also includes the formation of a constructive use of  time, where 
young people are given opportunities  outside of school to develop 
new skills and interests.

Internal assets focus on the values that children learn  throughout 
their lives and internalize as they grow up  such as a commitment to 
learning and the development of  a positive identity and self-worth.

Creating positive values, where children develop strong  guiding 
principles that help them make healthy choices  and social 
competencies, where children learn skills  that allow them to 
interact with others and to cope  with new situations, is also listed 
under the internal  asset category.

Karen Spencer, senior manager for Family and Children's  Services of 
Waterloo Region, said the more assets a  child has while growing up, 
the less likely they are to  be involved in drugs, alcohol or violence.

Alision Scott, director of client services for Family  and Children's 
Services of Waterloo Region, said  whether it's the parents or 
someone else in the  community, like a bus driver or a teacher, 
getting positive support from someone is especially important  in the 
overall growth of a child.

In this way, both the parents and the community have a  role to play 
in the life of a child.

As Goetz says, "sometimes it takes a community to raise  a child."

"The more connected your community is, the more  attached kids are to 
it," Goetz said.

Events such as community barbecues or organizations  like 
Neighbourhood Watch can all help bring a community  together, he said.

Fewkes agrees and said parents and the community need  to find ways 
to offer children activities that will  keep them busy.

He said he and his friends were so bored growing up in  a small town 
that they would sit at the park at night,  drinking and doing drugs. 
If more activities were  available, the less likely kids are to look 
for their  own entertainment.

Fewkes, who now works in construction, said he'd likely  still be 
doing drugs if not for a car accident three  years ago that sent him 
to hospital and forced him to  withdraw.

He's still paying back thousands of dollars he borrowed  and mending 
relationships that were broken while he was  on drugs.

"It's not a good way to live," he says.

He now speaks to students about his life of drugs and  the decisions 
he made that forced him down a road he  hopes nobody else will travel.

"I never tell a kid not to do drugs because they won't  listen to 
me," he said. "I just tell them my story."
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MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman