Pubdate: Sun, 04 Jun 2006 Source: Columbus Dispatch (OH) Copyright: 2006 The Columbus Dispatch Contact: http://www.dispatch.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/93 Author: Holly Zachariah Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/meth.htm (Methamphetamine) JAILED MOM NOT SURE SHE'S READY FOR LIFE WITHOUT METH She had errands to run, a house to clean, a teenage son to look after and a baby girl to raise. Life, more often than not, overwhelmed her. But Tammy Howard thought she had smoked her way to a solution. Sitting in a sterile conference room, picking at imaginary lint on her prison-issued uniform, she talked about the methamphetamine she called "every woman's dream." "It really, really did it for me," Howard said. "There's nothing else like it. I could mow the grass, mow my neighbor's grass, probably their neighbor's grass and the grass up and down the street. "And I'd still have energy left over to take care of my kids, clean my house, cook a meal, work my job and have some fun. "To be able to get everything done and still have a little left over for yourself? Who wouldn't want that?" In 15 years of meth use, she never felt the worst of what the drug offers, she said. She didn't suffer the infected sores caused by "meth bugs," the itches and twitches under the skin that cannot be satisfied. She never went days without sleep. She never experienced the dramatic weight loss that is so common because the drug makes food seem unnecessary. And she kept her teeth. Often, the chemicals in the drug strip the enamel and cause rot and infection in the gums. She counts herself among the lucky. But while the 40-year-old's physical health might be intact, the home-brewed drug she smoked sometimes two or three times a day destroyed everything else. Her 21-year-old son, with whom she did drugs, already has been to jail. Her 6-year-old adopted daughter now lives with Howard's mother. The bank took back the three-bedroom ranch home she owned in Fairborn, and her car is gone. So, too, is the shipping manager's job she held for 13 years at a Beavercreek factory. Her "friends" have moved on. She doesn't know exactly what she'll do when she is released from the Franklin Pre-Release Center in Columbus. She's confident she'll start a new life. The extent of her drug abuse, however, predicts an uphill battle. She last smoked meth on her way to begin serving her prison sentence. "On my way to the courthouse and jail," she said. Once inside, she slept for almost six days straight. "They had to wake me up to feed me," she said. "I guess I was coming down." Treatment experts say that's exactly what she was doing. And while they say Howard and others like her can break the habit, they'll likely never live completely normal lives. Meth produces a strong, instant rush by flooding the brain's pleasure center with dopamine, a neurotransmitter. That high can last six times as long as a crack-cocaine buzz. It immediately elevates body temperature, heart rate and blood pressure and increases the energy level while decreasing appetite. Over time, doctors say, meth permanently damages the brain and vital organs. Eventually, the body craves that artificial release at the expense of anything else that used to give pleasure. "On a hot sweaty day, a cold drink of water used to feel good. Now it's nothing because your body can't find anything as good or as satisfying as meth," said Dr. Alvin Pelt, medical director at Maryhaven, central Ohio's oldest behavorial health-care system, specializing in addiction. Howard said her meth use eventually escalated. When police searched her home in July 2004, they found a bag of a common cold medicine used in meth production, at least 20 packages, stuffed in the medicine cabinet. She began serving her one-year sentence for illegal possession of chemicals in September. The hardest thing, she said, was telling her young daughter goodbye. At first, Howard's mother brought the girl to the prison. But the visits proved too hard on everyone. Now, they exchange letters twice a week. Howard said that given the chance for early release she'll likely pass it up. "I'm gonna wait until I can get it together," she said. "Somehow." She sits in silence. "Yeah," she says finally, "I'll go home. Somehow." - --- MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman