Pubdate: Sun, 07 May 2006
Source: Mail Tribune, The (Medford, OR)
Copyright: 2006 The Mail Tribune
Contact:  http://www.mailtribune.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/642
Note: Only prints LTEs from within it's circulation area.
Author: Sarah Lemon
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/meth.htm (Methamphetamine)

WORKING TO ERADICATE METH

EDITOR'S NOTE: This story is the first in a series of monthly 
features on methamphetamine addicts' attempts at recovery. The 
remainder of the series will appear the first Sunday of each month in 
the Local section.

In her struggle to rout methamphetamine addiction, Dawn Jackson has 
had an angel by her side.

But this angel doesn't always live up to her name.

Jackson's daughter, Angelique "Angel" Risley, has been tainted by her 
mother's demons. The 12-year-old suffers mental and behavioral 
disorders likely caused by exposure to meth in the womb. For four 
years, Angel was a ward of the state, living in foster care and 
treatment centers for children diagnosed with acute mental illness.

An addict for 15 years who underwent treatment seven times, Jackson, 
33, completed a unique court program last year in hopes of regaining 
custody of Angel. Now, a year later, Jackson has stayed clean, found 
employment outside the local network of social services and is 
learning how to be a mom again.

"I fought for four years to bring her home," Jackson said.

But Jackson realized in March the fight wasn't over.

"As hard as she works, it just seems like it never ends," said Fred 
Petty, program specialist for Southern Oregon Goodwill, which honored 
Jackson in March for her outstanding achievement in its program.

"She gets something fixed, and something else breaks," Petty said.

Craving her mom's time and attention, Angel resented Jackson's post 
at a local paging service, her first job in the private sector since 
she'd been clean. Angel would fly into a rage when she knew Jackson 
was leaving her.

"The outbursts got so bad that it was actually interfering with me 
getting ready for work," Jackson said.

The swing shift kept Jackson from having dinner with her daughter, 
helping her with homework or tucking her into bed. Jackson's mother, 
father and fiance took turns staying with Angel.

"She lived at work more than she lived at home," Angel said.

Determined to jump-start a true career, Jackson applied and was 
accepted to a construction apprenticeship program. To learn how to 
operate heavy machinery, Jackson anticipated spending about a month 
in classes at the Northwest Laborers' Corvallis training site. She 
would spend weekends at home with Angel.

But Angel's anger derailed the plan.

Told to do the dishes one day in March, Angel responded with 
violence, hurling bowls, coffee cups and coasters out the front door 
of the family's Eagle Point apartment. An 8-inch fillet knife went 
sailing after Jackson, her fiance and a friend.

Convinced she couldn't rein in Angel -- nearly as big as her mother 
- -- Jackson called the police. The girl was charged with unlawful use 
of a weapon and taken to the county's juvenile detention center.

"The day they took her, I wanted to go get loaded," Jackson said.

Instead, Jackson picked up the phone and called anyone she could 
think of for support, including social service workers, who know 
Jackson's situation is not unique.

"Many times their addicts' children have been impacted physically," 
said Karla Carlson, intake supervisor for the Oregon Department of 
Human Services' local child welfare office.

"So then you have these parents who are really fragile and are now 
parenting really difficult kids."

The emotions Jackson kept locked down tight whenever she landed in 
jail during her years of addiction came pouring out when her daughter 
hobbled into juvenile court in leg shackles. Jackson spent the rest 
of the day in tears, and Angel spent more than two weeks in 
detention. She came home sobered.

"She told me, 'Mom, I don't want to go back. I don't belong there,'" 
Jackson said.

After sorting through a lifetime of her mother's meth-induced lies, 
Angel was prone to disregarding parental warnings, Jackson said. The 
girl now realizes the consequences of crime are real, Jackson said.

Suspended from school and sentenced to house arrest until the end of 
the month, Angel spends every minute of every day with Jackson, who 
quit her job and abruptly canceled plans to participate in the 
Corvallis apprenticeship program.

"She calls it 'mom arrest,'" Jackson said.

The two now spend their time cuddling the family's litter of puppies, 
going for walks, playing at the park, cleaning house, doing arts and 
crafts and just getting to know each other again, Jackson said.

"I think she's doing good," said Angel.

But almost two and a half years since her last relapse, Jackson said 
she still has to make the conscious decision on some mornings to 
resist the drug's lure for Angel's sake. So far, the call to care for 
her daughter has been stronger.

"It's a day to figure out how do I fight for my child today," she said.
- ---
MAP posted-by: Beth Wehrman