Pubdate: Sun, 26 Nov 2006 Source: Daily Courier, The (CN BC) Copyright: 2006 The Okanagan Valley Group of Newspapers Contact: http://www.kelownadailycourier.ca/include/letterToEditor.php Website: http://www.kelownadailycourier.ca Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/531 Author: Steve MacNaull WHY PARENTING MATTERS You can't talk about the devastating drug crystal meth without talking about parenting. "It's mostly kids who have suffered abuse or emotional pain at home who end up on drugs," Dr. Gabor Mate told a crystal meth forum in Peachland on Saturday. "I've been told by so many addicts that they were abused at home and that their first experience with drugs felt like a warm hug." However, even kids who come from seemingly good homes can succumb to drugs. "Usually, what happens in those cases is that those kids come from a home where they weren't abused, but they didn't have constant nurturing from a non-stressed adult," said Mate. "They may become too attached to their peers in such cases, and if their peer group is doing drugs, they are likely to as well." The District of Peachland, the rural RCMP detachment and the Peachland Wellness Centre sponsored the seminar. "Crystal meth isn't a huge problem in Peachland, but it is here. The stores downtown tell us kids are buying the ingredients," said Barrie Hewer of the wellness centre. "We organized this as an information session for parents and kids and a pre-emptive strike against meth." Meth is a highly addictive and dangerous drug made of such poisons as drain cleaner, the active ingredient in nail polish, the acid used to make mustard gas, camp fuel, lye and paint remover. While the resulting high gives users feelings of joy, power, success and high self-esteem, it also causes delusional thinking, violent behaviour, welted skin, increased heart rate, stroke and potentially fatal seizures. "Oh yes, there's lots of drugs around," said Ashley Gorrie, 16, one of the few teens at the session. "I came today because my mom wanted me to. It was pretty intense, but I learned a lot about meth and how not to get mixed up in drugs." Ashley's mom, Leanne, said she learned a lot about parenting. Mate, the author of the parenting book "Hold Onto Your Kids," said the best thing a parent can do to keep their kids away from drugs is to spend time with them just hanging out, and being interested in and listening to them. "Good relationships allow children and teens to become more independent without all the conflict," he said. "Parenting isn't a skill; it's a relationship." Kids don't avoid drugs by being lectured about them or even by negative consequences after they've tried drugs. "They avoid drugs if they have good relationships at home," he stressed. Mate likes to give this preventative advice before people end up like the addicts he sees in Vancouver's seedy Downtown Eastside. - --- MAP posted-by: Elaine