Pubdate: Thu, 3 Aug 2006
Source: Jakarta Post (Indonesia)
Copyright: The Jakarta Post
Contact:  http://www.thejakartapost.com
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/645
Author: David and Joyce Djaelani Gordon

PARENTS INDIFFERENT TO THE 'BROKEN CAR'

If we are to liken drug addicts to broken cars that need fixing by an 
auto repair shop, it is clear that parents who neglect them do not 
appreciate fully that these cars break down because the driver -- in 
this case, the parents -- do not understand how to drive and maintain 
the car so it operates well.

They just figure, if the car breaks down, they only need to take it 
to the auto repair shop, not bothering to learn why and how the car 
broke down, and how to avoid another breakdown in the future. The 
drivers are not interested in learning, and the car is the one at 
fault. A broken car let loose in full gear without a driver can 
destroy everything in its path. So can addicts.

It does little good to point fingers at the government, religion, the 
police or law enforcement, nor schools and the educational system, 
and echo -- "they should have control, the power and force, the 
intelligence and capability to find measures to deal with drug 
addiction and HIV/AIDS".

The reasons for not participating are numerous, but still the final 
result is that parents are just not participating in these vital 
programs, not learning anything about how to aid and maintain their 
children's recovery, therefore turning loose, over and over again, 
many young males and females with "viruses" into the mostly 
unsuspecting community to further spread HIV and AIDS.

Just a few days ago we spoke with a young girl; she had recently had 
sex with a young man, a new boyfriend. The young man and girl are 
both in recovery programs. After having sex, unprotected sex -- no 
condom, no protection -- the young man told the young woman, "Oh, 
also I want to tell you, I have HIV." The families of either the 
young man or girl are "helpless", so they confess, to influence or 
have power or control in either of their children's lives.

Some time ago we spoke with the father of an addict, with HIV, who 
was "involved" with a young woman. The young woman was not infected 
with HIV and did not know that her boyfriend had HIV.

We told the father he should take a stand and not let his son date 
and be in an intimate relationship with this young woman, not only 
because of the HIV, but more so because the son was "still highly 
irresponsible and still relapsing regularly".

The father said to us: "It is better he goes with this one woman, and 
better only one woman gets HIV, rather than him running around and 
giving HIV to 10 women."

Parents very often refuse and will not tell a boy/girl friend, 
husband/wife, partner and even other parents that their son or 
daughter is infected with HIV/AIDS.

Often, parents will try and find a wife/husband for the child, 
thinking marriage will help keep them out of trouble, help make them 
become mature and responsible, stop them from relapsing and even 
somehow stop or cure the virus? They are simply not caring for the "broken car".
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake