Pubdate: Tue, 22 Feb 2005
Source: Newsday (NY)
Copyright: 2005 Newsday Inc.
Contact:  http://www.newsday.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/308
Author: Pat Burson
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/bush.htm (Bush, George)

EXPERTS: DON'T KEEP MUM ON DRUG PAST

President George W. Bush told a friend that he wouldn't publicly admit 
using marijuana or other illegal drugs in his past, but experts say parents 
would do better not to follow his example.

Parents may have a shot at keeping their kids away from drugs if they talk 
to them early, honestly and often about the perils of drug use -- including 
their own, experts say.

"Don't cover it up, but be honest and straightforward with your children," 
said Elaine Lederer, director of the Long Island Consultation Center in 
Rego Park, which offers chemical dependence counseling programs.

In secretly recorded conversations starting in 1998 that came to light last 
week, then-governor Bush told family friend Doug Wead that he would refuse 
to answer questions about drug use "because I don't want some little kid 
doing what I tried."

But it's parents, not the president, who need to communicate clearly about 
their expectations concerning drugs and the harm they cause, said Tom 
Hedrick, director of the Manhattan-based Partnership for a Drug-Free 
America, which Tuesday will release a national survey on parents and drugs.

Parents should use every "teachable moment," from news stories such as the 
president's comments to incidents that occur in their schools and 
communities, to have "more discussion, more often," Hedrick added.

Those opportunities begin when they're young and continue after they move 
out to go to school and even beyond, said Dr. Henry David Abraham, a 
psychiatrist who wrote "What's a Parent to Do? Straight Talk on Drugs and 
Alcohol" (New Horizon Press, $14.95).

It might be time for a talk when a 5-year-old asks for a sip of your wine 
at dinner, or a middle-schooler is caught smoking a cigarette, or a college 
undergrad comes home drunk. "Seize that opportunity to establish a 
communication pattern that says parents and children can talk intelligently 
of the dangers of drugs and alcohol," he said.

Children don't need to know all the gory details of their parents' drug 
use, said M. Joann Wright, an assistant psychology professor and staff 
psychologist for Student Counseling Services at Hofstra University.

Instead, she said, parents can offer them "an insider's point of view," 
telling them what attracted them to a drug, what they liked and disliked 
about it, how they realized it was harmful, why they decided to quit -- and 
why they're glad they did.

If parents get stuck on whether, what or how much to tell, and opt to do 
nothing, "that would be a tragedy," Hedrick said.

There's only one piece of advice for parents still using drugs -- stop, 
Wright said. "Do you know how many college students say they got their pot 
from their parents' stash?" she said. "A lot of times parents are trying to 
be the cool parents. It's not about you or your reputation. It's about your 
children's future."
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