Pubdate: Fri, 11 Nov 2005 Source: Salmon Arm Observer (CN BC) Copyright: 2005 Salmon Arm Observer Contact: http://www.saobserver.net/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1407 Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/mjcn.htm (Cannabis - Canada) WINNING THE ADDICTION WAR Brett moves forward 12 steps at a time. But he could move a fatal step backwards in less than 15 minutes. The "12 Steps" led him from a bleak 20-year addiction to marijuana and alcohol to a life of "serene sobriety." And though he has been clean for six years, he says he could get what he wants within 15 minutes, because drugs are so easily accessible in this community. "But I choose not to," he says adamantly. "The first high was incredible and I spent the next 20 years trying to get that feeling back. That never happened." This recovering addict, who wishes to remain anonymous to protect his family, has added his voice of experience to the recently created Crystal Clear on Meth Task Force. He takes issue with regarding marijuana as a 'soft drug.' It is, he says a drug, pure and simple, and while it may not, "take you down as fast as cocaine or heroin, it develops into a fiery habit." Brett got drunk for the first time at age nine and smoked his first joint when he was 12. "They were always my drugs of choice," he says. Why did he use drugs? "Because it seemed like a good idea at the time," says Brett, who came from a good home, belonged to cadets and attended church. This is a huge societal problem, he says, warning that so many parents have no idea so many of their kids are indulging in drugs. It was a habit that, at its height, cost Brett $500 per week. Inexpensive, he says, compared to cocaine which costs many users $500 to $1,000 per day. Brett says he moved through the first three of five accepted stages of addiction, very quickly: from experimentation to regular use, followed by addiction and dependence. He would greet each day with an urgent desire to get to his stash as quickly as possible. Like many users, he became adept at telling lies. Moving into the fifth stage, recovery (or death), did not come so quickly. Now going on 39, Brett says he first thought about giving the drug up at the age of 26. The highs weren't as good anymore and the drug was interfering with his family life. But Brett did nothing to pursue a life of sobriety until July 2, 1998, when his wife took the couple's two children and left. It was the day his worst fears were realized and the day he quit using drugs. >From there, he "white knuckled" his way through an 11-month tailspin, into a nervous breakdown. "I was devastated," he says. "All I wanted was to get my family back. Nothing else mattered." But that did not happen and during the next several months, Brett attended at least 300 12-step meetings, saw local drug and alcohol counsellors and preachers and, like a mantra, kept telling himself, "Whatever happens, don't use." And, even though he didn't, life did not improve. "I never knew anyone could have so much pain. I would go to sleep crying and when I woke up, I was still crying." The road back began with a three-month stay at Miracle Valley, a Salvation Army recovery facility on the Lower Mainland. It is there he began to examine the feelings so long suppressed by drug use, and to apply the "12 steps" to his daily life. "Recovery is not for the faint of heart," he says. "It is hard to look inside yourself and then tell people you're sorry, especially when they don't know you've done something to them." About five weeks after his stay at Miracle Valley, Brett smoked a joint. He followed that up with a bottle of pills. His next stop was the psych ward in Vernon. That was his turning point: Step Three the point at which he turned his will over to the care of a higher power. Brett chooses to call his higher power God and says the 12-step programs he continues to attend are very spiritual. "The goal," he says, "is for a contented recovery." On July 2, Brett celebrated six years of recovery from drugs and seven from alcohol. And he is contented, engaged to be married and gainfully employed full-time. "When I was using, I didn't have any hope for the future," he says. "I was deluded into thinking I was unteachable and untrainable. Now the future's so bright, I gotta wear shades." He says he joined the task force to show the public, especially addicts, that recovery from addiction, no matter what the drug, is entirely possible. "It takes guts and determination, family and community support," he says emphatically, calling for more immediate access to help and support. "There are counsellors in town, but sometimes it takes two weeks to see them. It could mean the difference between recovery or death." Public meeting tonight The Crystal Clear on Meth Task Force hosts another public meeting tonight, Nov. 9 at the SASCU Downtown Activity Centre at 7 p.m. And on Monday, Nov. 14 at noon, everyone is invited to take part in the Shuswap Family Resource Centre's Walk The Talk to mark the start of Addictions Awareness Week. - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Seguin