Pubdate: Wed, 14 Sep 2005 Source: Penticton Herald (CN BC) Copyright: 2005 The Okanagan Valley Group of Newspapers Contact: http://www.pentictonherald.ca/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/664 Author: S. Paul Varga Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/mjcn.htm (Cannabis - Canada) TUG OF WAR OVER TEEN # Editor's note: The following story is the second in a four-part series on substance abuse and rehabilitation issues in the Penticton and South Okanagan area. Four years after her mother got her to try crystal meth, Mary continues to abuse drugs at an alarming rate. At 15, Mary (not her real name), is a self-professed authority on Penticton's drug scene. She claims she uses an ounce of crystal meth and two ounces of marijuana every week, numbers which may be exaggerated for effect As her grandmother, who successfully fought for custody of Mary and her two siblings, sits in her dining room, relating the trials and tribulations she's had with the court system and trying her best to get the teenager free from the influence of drugs, Mary speaks up She screams at her grandmother, telling her, "Shut up. It's my story, God damn it. You don't have no right to tell no one!" By law, due to her age, Mary can live wherever she wants, says Phyllis (not her real name). Currently, it's convenient to live with Phyllis, though a few months ago Mary was living in a motel "I was taking food to her, keeping as much contact as I could with her," said Phyllis. "She finally came to me, pretty desperate. She was down to about 90 pounds." She has no idea what Mary was doing in the motel, or how she was able to pay the rent. She believes -- hopes might be a better word - -- the money was coming from Mary's mother, though one time she saw a middle-aged man in the room "I've always been concerned about that," says Phyllis, concerned Mary might be trading sexual favours in exchange for drugs Mary's mother and father are divorced, the result of a "totally dysfunctional marriage," says Phyllis. Neither lives in Penticton, though Mary's mother lives in a community nearby. Phyllis suspects her former daughter-in-law is dealing drugs to support her own habit, while her son is working to support his drug habit. A year ago, Phyllis managed to have the courts award her custody of all three children, though they'd been living with her off and on since 2001 Her pain and her concern for Mary's welfare is evident -- as is her patience. During the interview, when Mary interjects with profanity, Phyllis calmly asks her to stop and then continues talking, relating an incident when Mary jumped from a moving vehicle three times Mary has been to a treatment facility in the Lower Mainland, but only stayed for the two-week orientation period and left before the 10-week program began, claiming she didn't need the assistance. Later, Mary says she will keep abusing drugs "There's nothing for youth to do here," says Mary. "Yeah, crystal meth is growing in popularity; it's real easy to get." Mary says she'll continue smoking marijuana, too, because "it's the only thing that keeps me sane." Recently, Mary was arrested for breaking into a neighbour's house. When Phyllis arrived home, Mary and her boyfriend were anxious to leave. The police showed up moments later, and Phyllis had to watch her granddaughter be arrested and handcuffed While the drugs themselves give Phyllis concern for Mary's health, so does the company her granddaughter keeps. At one point, Mary told her she was a witness to a violent assault, possibly fatal. A few months later, she recanted her story, then brought it up again recently in a manner Phyllis took to mean she had been a witness Phyllis doesn't know which story to believe Another time, Mary was assaulted. While Phyllis was shocked by the amount of harm inflicted, Mary has a different story. It was no big deal to her "I was in a chop shop," said Mary. "It got busted, and my (street) sister came in the house and smacked me out because I was doing stuff that wasn't right." To say that life with Mary has been difficult is an understatement "It's been hell," says Phyllis. "I'm really starting to feel the pressure right now. I'm in my late 60s. Will I run out of time before I finish this? I have no backup." Phyllis's husband is a little older thanher. He's working in the forest industry out of town; Mary's father is working with him Neither Mary's father nor her mother have made any support payments; the Ministry of Children and Family Development pays Phyllis less for maintenance support than it would pay a foster parent. She's now working her way through the courts to have a maintenance order enforced against Mary's parents As she did during the custody battle, Phyllis has been receiving moral support and guidance in her battles from her local MLA; her battles aren't the kind of battles for which she has any peers "My friends are in a totally different world than I am," says Phyllis, explaining most women her age aren't raising another family nor learning how to identify street drugs and what to do when the police knock on your door "I'm lucky physically to have the health and have the strength," says Phyllis, wondering how long it might hold out. - --- MAP posted-by: Elizabeth Wehrman