Pubdate: Fri, 26 Aug 2005
Source: Voice Magazine, The (CN AB Edu)
Contact:  2009 The Voice
Website: http://www.voicemagazine.org/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/4998
Author: El-Ahrairah Jones
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/mjparty.htm (Canadian Marijuana Party)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/pot.htm (Cannabis)

REEFER MADNESS

So Marc Emery, leader of the B.C. based Marijuana Party has been arrested
by Vancouver RCMP. at the request of U.S. law enforcement. According to
the CBC's website (vancouver.cbc.ca), the self-styled "Prince of Pot," a
tireless political activist in the cause of reforming North America's
draconian marijuana laws, was arrested in Halifax, N.S. Simultaneously,
his Vancouver pot seed and accessories store was raided by police "on
behalf of the American government."

The U.S. government is now going through the process of requesting
extradition, so that Emery will face trial in the U.S. According to a
report in the Vancouver Courier (Sunday, August 14th), the articulate
spokesman for a more or less benign substance will face three charges:
conspiracy to produce marijuana and conspiracy to distribute marijuana
seeds, each of which carries penalties ranging from 10 years to life
between bars; and a money-laundering charge that could net him up to
another 20 years.

Beautiful. Uncle Sam is taking some proactive steps to curb the insidious,
lethal spread of marijuana. Who knows what debauchery might be committed
by pot-addled maniacs if Emery and his ilk successfully challenge
marijuana prohibition: an epidemic of Phish and Dave Matthews Band CDs
blaring from basement windows; small time entrepreneurs failing to declare
their full income from the sale of hand-crafted cedar wood bongs; an
ever-increasing percentage of the population suffering from morbid obesity
and heart disease caused by over-eating as a result of the munchies. Oh,
wait, that phenomenon is already happening down there in the Police States
of America, perhaps because of all the toxic fast food shit their
corporations are shilling to their citizens.

So why is the American government so hot and horny from our homegrown seed
distributor? Simple. One of the most serious side effects of
over-consumption of marijuana is the lack of ambition that it generates.
This is what really has Uncle Sam worried. Obviously, the apathetic,
pot-head layabout is one of the most potent threats to the Western way of
life. Studies show that chronic abusers of the nefarious weed are more
likely to resist the urges of recruiters to go overseas and annihilate
foreigners with high tech gadgetry.

Eventually, these hemp-terrorists may become so passive that it is
difficult to get them even to drive to the nearest convenience store to
stock up on cigarettes, cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and cartons of
armour-piercing shells for the automatic weapon they purchased at the mall
last Sunday when the old lady pissed them off. Eventually, after heavy and
chronic usage, some of them may even become deluded and demented enough to
believe, like Emery, that they have a chance of changing things just a
little bit for the better. Dream on.