Pubdate: Mon, 28 Jun 2004
Source: Surrey Now (CN BC)
Copyright: 2004 Lower Mainland Publishing Group Inc., A Canwest Company
Contact:  http://www.thenownewspaper.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1462
Author: Marisa Babic
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine)
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment)

AGAINST ALL ODDS

Tiffany Martin entered her teens leading a charmed life.

Her father, a postal worker, and her mother, a home care support
worker, both made good money and were able to create a comfortable
middle-class lifestyle for their small, very close family. They lived
in a nice Surrey neighbourhood in a five-bedroom rancher with an
in-ground pool and a hot tub.

As an only child, Tiffany's parents could afford to splurge on her and
indulge her whims. There were swimming and saxophone lessons, parties,
meals in restaurants, lots of friends and all the clothes a teenage
girl could want.

"If a saw something I liked I would just get it," says Tiffany, now 17.

But Tiffany's secure and cozy world came to a crashing halt soon after
she entered Grade 9 at L.A. Matheson secondary school and her
40-year-old father became hooked on drugs - crack cocaine.

As she tells her story, Tiffany still struggles with her family's
misfortune and her father's descent into drug addiction.

Four years ago, her father was working nights at Canada Post and
Tiffany didn't see him much. On the weekends, though, she began
noticing changes. Her father, a classic car buff, was beginning to
spend more time in the garage. Even on the hottest days of summer, the
garage door remained closed. She began noticing other "weird" things
about his behaviour. An introvert, her father had suddenly turned into
an extrovert. He became more social and talkative and began performing
chores around the house with amazing speed. Then one day, Tiffany's
mom, Sandra, found a small plastic bag filled with a suspicious white
powder in the house.

Shocked and stunned by her discovery, Sandra gave her husband an
ultimatum - clean up and seek help in 10 days or she and Tiffany are
walking.

Twenty days before Christmas, Tiffany and her mom packed up a few
pieces of clothing and other essentials and moved into an apartment,
where, it turned out, the only other working woman on their floor was
a prostitute.

Tiffany still has trouble understanding why her father chose to take
drugs.

"It was really depressing because he had such a good life, like, why
would he want to do this?" she wonders.

"I was angry that he would choose the drugs over our family."

Her feelings of anger and betrayal grew deeper and she began to
withdraw. Her father's drug addiction became a source of shame and her
grades started falling.

"I stopped doing homework. I'd just go home and loaf around the house.
I joined Scouts to get my mind off things. I went camping, or I'd just
sleep. I'd go to a friend's house to try and forget what was
happening, kind of hide it."

As rumours about her family spread in school, Tiffany became more
withdrawn and isolated and began cutting classes. Some of her friends
dropped her and she was forced to endure the cruelty of some of her
school mates.

"They were saying things, like, 'Oh, you live in a crackhouse. Your
dad's a crackhead' and stuff. Or they'd come up to me and say, 'Hey,
how come you don't live in that house anymore, I was just at your
house buying drugs'," she says.

"We were known as the crack shack because people who would do crack
cocaine and drugs, that's where they would go."

Perhaps Tiffany's lowest point came the following Father's Day.

Tiffany and her mom prepared a special meal and waited for her father
to arrive but he never showed.

"I shouldn't have expected him to come," Tiffany says as tears well up
in her eyes. "I wrote a letter saying, 'Too bad you didn't come for
dinner...'" she continues, but breaks down.

Tiffany put together a parcel for him, which included a pack of
cigarettes and some money for drugs: "all the things you love more
than me."

"She asked me to deliver it to him," says Sandra. "It was heartbreaking."

The unusual gift may have been a turning point for her father. Soon
after, he checked into a recovery house for the third time and has
been clean now for 22 months. His struggle for recovery eased
Tiffany's burden, too.

She had to repeat Grade 9 English and science, which she had failed
but with the support of mom, teachers and others in the community,
Tiffany made the honour roll in Grade 11 and this month, Tiffany
graduated from high school.

At first, she didn't want to go to her graduation party.

"I didn't want to go because of everything that happened. I still
didn't have that many friends in the school and I didn't have the
money to buy a nice, expensive dress."

She doesn't regret her change of heart.

"It was so much fun. Words can't even describe what it was like. It
was so amazing," she says, smiling.

Principal Joe Fabiano says Tiffany's courage and perseverance should
serve as an inspiration to others.

"With perseverance, it's just amazing sometimes what these kids can
actually deal with and survive."

Tiffany says she has mostly forgiven her father for all the pain and
turmoil he put everyone through and they are working on mending their
broken relationship.

She's still haunted by painful memories but says you just have to move
on. In a strange way, her father has been an inspiration to her in her
emotional recovery.

"He learned to trust people in the recovery houses to help him get
better so I thought if he can do it and let people into his life then
maybe I could do it," she says.

Despite the scars, Tiffany's journey to overcome adversity has been
one of self-discovery.

"I learned that everyone goes through something, everyone has their
problems but if you work together as a family, you can get through it.
You can't blame people for the things that have happened, it's really
no one's fault, yet in the end, it means you're a stronger person."
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MAP posted-by: Larry Seguin