Pubdate: Tue, 23 Mar 2004
Source: Scotsman (UK)
Copyright: The Scotsman Publications Ltd 2004
Contact:  http://www.scotsman.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/406
Author: Juliet Lawrence Wilson
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/testing.htm (Drug Testing)

DRUGS, SPROGS.. IT WASN'T LIKE THAT IN MY DAY

Last week I was lamenting the fact that I am getting older. There are 
advantages, however. Like other older people, I can worry about the state 
of the world and say: "It wasn't like that in my day." This is terrific fun 
and really gets up young people's noses.

Yet it is only a matter of time until I am expected to settle down and have 
a family. This notion is something that women in their late 20s and 30s 
seem to find increasingly difficult "these days", but teenage schoolgirls 
manage with aplomb.

Though having said that, Stockbridge is a hotbed of conception, such are 
the numbers of women with bumps and three-wheel buggies.

As I am sure you are aware, Stockbridge is one of those areas in Edinburgh 
with a plethora of delicatessens and charity shops. Down this way we suffer 
from social problems such as marinated goat's cheese shortages and Kalamata 
olive turf wars.

We therefore feel it is only fair to characterise ourselves as "bohemian". 
This manifests itself by having the men pushing the prams.

The other day I spotted two men walking down the street, both pushing prams 
and talking about nappies. My mum tells me that my father would only push 
my pram if nobody was looking and I can't help but think there is something 
admirable about his reluctance to turn into "a big girl's blouse".

I suppose many of you have read about the 17-year-old girl who has had 
three children by different fathers.

I had never realised parenting could be so worrying. Always presuming young 
girls to be like myself at that age - in other words, scared of boys - I 
would have thought that keeping your children child-free until they at 
least reached the grand old age of, say, 18, would be relatively easy.

But these days it isn't only teenage pregnancy that parents have to worry 
about. My stool pigeon at the school gates tells me that many teenagers 
have been dabbling in drugs.

In my day we were so thick that we wouldn't have known where to get drugs. 
In fact, we thought that smoking was extremely naughty, never mind any of 
the stronger stuff.

In fact, the reason I have managed to reach the mature age of 29 without 
having a drug habit is because the Government constantly reminds me that 
smoking is still really naughty.

Yet if you are worried about your sprogs taking drugs, you will soon be 
able to buy a kit from your chemist so that you can test them for illegal 
substances at home.

Yes, you can ignore the fact they are coming home at four in the morning 
pie-eyed. Pay no attention to the fact that the video recorder and hi-fi 
are missing - it's the testing kit that will put your mind at rest.

I would imagine that telling your teenage child that you are about to test 
them for drugs just might result in a little argument. Only a hunch.

What parents need to do is start testing them young. Obviously 
five-year-olds are not taking drugs but they are inclined to consume 
substances which should be illegal, such as cheese in the form of plastic 
string and high-sugar drinks masquerading as vitamin-fuelled fruit juice.

And what of the teenage mothers? How do we stop this problem? By telling 
young girls that if they have children, they will be given their own house, 
will live off benefits and never have to work.

They will be forced to spend the whole day sitting in front of the telly 
watching cable TV. This will put them off going out with boys for life.

Young 'uns, these days - they don't know what's good for them.
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MAP posted-by: Terry Liittschwager