Pubdate: Mon, 22 Nov 2004
Source: Weekly Journal, The (CN ON)
Copyright: 2004 Transcontinental Media
Contact:  http://www.neighbourhoodnews.ca/journal
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/3567
Author: Steve Coleman, Neighbourhood News Staff
Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment)

DRUGS PART II: EXITING THE ABYSS

Two Addicts Share Their Stories

Josh's big moment came when he woke up in jail, again, and just assumed he 
was in the drunk tank for public intoxication. Turned out it was for 
assault, times two, and the police now had his picture and finger prints.

For Chris, the realization that there had to be something better to life 
than sitting around a basement apartment getting stoned while his wife and 
infant child were out of the house was what turned his life around. It 
happened too late, however, to save his marriage.

Both are still addicts and probably always will be. Although they're 
learning that bad habits are hard to drop, they're happier addicts, now 
that they're receiving treatment.

"It's a sad, desperate, depressing lifestyle," said Chris. "When I'm not 
using, I'm in the 200 pound range, my appetite is good and my social life 
is good. As soon as I started using, I get malnourished and a little sketchy."

It happened the usual way for both recovering addicts - cigarettes and 
booze and then drugs as high school students. From there, it just blossomed.

"I've been clean for the last four months," Josh said Nov. 9. "I took a 
daily toke since high school. I got in trouble for drinking. I got into a 
few coke scenes, but I thought it was nothing I couldn't handle."

Chris, on the other hand, just hit the buffet table running. At age 16, he 
was dropping acid and mescaline. A year later, he got involved with the 
rave scene and fell in love with ecstasy and cocaine.

Tastes change, however. Six years after starting down the road he hit rock 
bottom. It arrived in the form of rocks of crack cocaine. Five days out of 
seven he said he smoked crack, a drug that's made more inroads with Ottawa 
users in recent years.

He said the very bottom of the barrel was the day his wife found out he was 
cheating while she was at work and their child was off at the baby sitter.

It never got to the point where he was stealing the rent money to feed his 
habit, Chris said. He worked odd jobs getting enough money together just to 
buy more crack.

Drugs finally caught up with Josh, too. By the time he got arrested for an 
incident he said he still can't remember, he was getting straight F's on 
his grades as a kineseology student at the University of Western Ontario. A 
course he took, by the way, because the ratio of girls to guys was 
seven-to-one.

"I wasn't just a mean drunk," Josh said. "I was barbaric. I lost complete 
control of myself."

He went to university after high school, concentrated more on his drinking 
than his studies and then got arrested before exams. After getting 
released, he got into a car accident drinking and driving and broke his back.

"So, I went to college," said Josh. "My grades were terrible. For the first 
time in my life, I was getting straight F's. I deserved every one of them."

Josh came to Harvest House after a month in jail to try and clean himself 
up. Harvest House runs its service as a one-year program, said drug 
counselor Mike Powell. A second year is optional if an addict thinks they 
still aren't quite ready for the real world.

An old school house on Ramsayville Road became the new home for the 
institution four years ago after it moved out of its previous building on 
River Road, just north of Manotick.

The facility receives funding for 24 beds, but fits nine more into their 
sanctuary. The program replaces the drugs with Christianity, but everyone 
going into rehab is aware of what the treatment involves, said Powell.

Addicts like to think their problems are something they can kick the first 
time, Powell said. It usually takes more than one try to send the demons 
packing.

"The toughest thing about this job has to be the number of people who come 
through here who wind up dead," said Powell. "Guys come to this program and 
you get attached to them. They start to see talents in themselves, things 
that even they didn't know existed. It's tough when you find out one of 
them has overdosed."

Addicts never truly recover. When the centre moved to Ramsayville Road, 
there was a list of graduates' names put up where the crown molding would 
normally go, as an incentive to the rest of the group. Slowly, names that 
had reached a new high point in their lives started getting crossed off as 
they hit new lows and tripped one final time into the obituary pages.

What was supposed to be an upper became a downer. The list of names lining 
the top of the room was discontinued after it started to look more like a 
cenotaph.

As a part of his treatment and as a way of keeping kids with solid futures 
ahead of them off drugs, some addicts have taken on the role of the cursed 
sailor from The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, telling teens about the 
dangers of drugs as a way of getting rid of the albatrosses slung around 
their own necks. Chris, whose first stay at Harvest House was a short one 
in January, said he doesn't plan to leave this time until he knows he can 
handle life away from the program.

As one of the ambassadors for the treatment program's VIP initiative, Chris 
said there are two main questions high school students seem to ask. They 
want to know what made him go to Harvest House and whether or not he thinks 
he'd ever be able to go back to using something normally.

Without hesitation, the answer to the second question is a definite "No."

Doing drugs is all about finding acceptance, said Chris. The crowd doing 
ecstasy turned into a sort of second family. It was that comfort that 
sucked him right in.

"It's almost like I took pride in it," said Josh, who is considering a 
stint with the VIP program. "I was proud of (doing drugs) for the wrong 
reasons. I was trying to impress the wrong people."

Both last names have been dropped from this story about two recovering 
addicts at Harvest House to protect their identities. Next week: educating 
the next generation about the dangers of recreational drugs.
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MAP posted-by: Terry Liittschwager