Pubdate: Wed, 14 Jan 2004 Source: Globe and Mail (Canada) Copyright: 2004, The Globe and Mail Company Contact: http://www.globeandmail.ca/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/168 Author: John Barber IF THE AUTO-ADDLED WON'T ALLOW TOLLS, THEN THE STONERS MUST ANTE UP 'Why do they call it the Gardens, grandpa?" I envision some cuter-than-average youngster asking me in the imminent utopian future. "They call it the Gardens because that's where they grow all the marijuana, sonny," I will reply. "Maple Leaf Gardens used to be a derelict hockey rink in a dark part of town. But now it's blooming as the headquarters of the world's largest municipal marijuana monopoly. Make no mistake, wee tyke, that's what keeps the trains running on time in Toronto. Heck, there wouldn't even be any trains without the good ol' Carlton Street Cashbox." This utopia originates in evil times yet to come, when talk of a new deal for cities has become a sour memory, when Good Queen Belinda has banned corporate taxes, when the Ontario Liberals remain McGuilty as charged, and when the auto-addled commuters of Toronto have truculently refused to approve simple road tolls designed to forestall their city's imminent bankruptcy. Then-Mayor Ben Kerr has a brainwave. Why, he wonders, are we letting the underground private sector reap all the benefits of big-box (i.e. Canadian-scale) marijuana cultivation? If nobody else wants to pay what it costs to keep city buses rolling, Mayor Kerr proclaims, we'll make the stoners pay! The Maple Leaf Municipal Marijuana Monopoly (MLMMM) will be an entirely traditional innovation, reminiscent of the "sot-weed" (tobacco) monopolies that built Virginia -- or even the great companies that created Canada in the process of exploiting a headwear trend. Its outlets will be bleak and shabby, like 1950s liquor stores, where government can make sinners feel guilty while robbing them blind. Legalized dope dealing is not the only alternative for cash-starved, tax-shy cities such as ours, of course. For those who dare, new sources of revenue are everywhere. But daring is necessary, because none of the new sources will likely prove any less controversial than Mayor Ben's would-be brainwave. Chronically under-taxed U.S. jurisdictions have pioneered the creation of these distasteful cash cows. Eschewing narcotics, they specialize in exploiting their citizens' weakness for gambling. But Ontario is already a big player in that racket (although not yet as scandalously dependent on gambling revenues as Ralph Klein's Alberta), so it would appear that that monopoly is already taken. Curiously, the one new tax alternative that is clearly fairest to all and least socially damaging -- more debt -- is also the most taboo in Canada. Reluctance to take on debt is the most backward feature of our cities, a polished executive with the World Bank once informed me. It's not "fiscal responsibility," he scoffed: Debt aversion is a cultural artifact -- a weird sacred cow that impedes progress. Former premier Ernie Eves failed to dent that culture with his promotion of U.S.-style, semi-tax-exempt municipal bonds. But that's a pity. By co-operating in the creation of new municipal bonds that are exempt from both federal and provincial income taxes, the two Liberals currently in charge of the books could help to eliminate the much-discussed "infrastructure deficit" at little cost to their own treasuries. Fashioning a new deal is strictly a matter of choosing your own poison -- gambling, debt, liquor or dope. Only taxes are forbidden. California, true to its trendsetting nature, is most innovative in fashioning these expedient distortions of public finance. A decade ago, its richest, most Republican and tax-averse county (Orange, just south of Los Angeles) went bankrupt when county officials gambled the entire treasury -- and lost it all -- on risky financial instruments. And now tax-fighting Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger wants his constituents to approve a new $15-billion dollar bond issue just to cover this year's operating deficit -- not the sort of debt financing the World Bank would approve. That, plus more slot machines. Indeed, anything other than the taxes he needs to run a state. It's the way of the future. - --- MAP posted-by: Josh