Pubdate: Thu, 15 May 2003 Source: Ft. Worth Star-Telegram (TX) Copyright: 2003 Star-Telegram, Fort Worth, Texas Contact: http://www.star-telegram.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/162 Author: Gary Hardee PARENTS TO PARENTS The father looked stunned as a Grand Prairie juvenile court judge administered a tongue-lashing to his teen-age son. The caustic reality check quickly caught the attention of my own son, who was there because of a speeding ticket. "You're a druggie," she said in disgust as the boy stood before her. She turned to Dad and asked, "When was the last time you had your son drug-tested?" The man stumbled for words. This was the first time that the boy had ever been in trouble, he replied. The judge tsked at the man's failure to see the obvious clues: the boy's mannerisms, his dress. A lot of drug-abusing teens wind up in her courtroom, the judge said, and this boy showed the same signs. Such stories do not surprise Tony Arangio, the Arlington school district's director of parent relations. Since 1997, Arangio has administered the district's federally funded safe and drug-free schools program. To generate awareness about drug and alcohol experimentation among students as young as fourth-graders, Arangio would set up sessions for parents that involved dozens of social service agencies that deal with the problems. "Nobody would be there," Arangio said. "Sometimes the vendors would outnumber the parents. We couldn't get the parents to come. We did them in the afternoon, in the evening, on Saturdays, in every part of town. We fed people; we provide buses to get them there." But nothing worked. And, Arangio thought, the idea of saving one kid at a time wasn't enough. He needed something better. Then he revisited a program called Parent to Parent, developed by the Passage Group, an organization based in Atlanta and formed in 1988 by Bill Oliver. The idea behind Parent to Parent is, simply, to get parents to talk to one another about parenting, to network the same way that children do. "The program is geared to making parents aware of the toxic culture that their kids are exposed to," said Mary Hibbs, who administers the Parent to Parent program for Arlington schools. "A culture where violence and sex are seen as entertainment, where drug and alcohol abuse are entertainment. "Parents are often the last to know what's going on," Hibbs said. "They're afraid to get in the way. And this program just empowers them to be a barrier between their kids and the toxic culture." Using about $230,000 in federal grants, Arangio and Hibbs started the local Parent to Parent program about a year and half ago. The series of eight videotapes offers simple advice, such as knowing who your children are out with, being their chauffeur, and networking with other parents who may be experiencing similar problems. Arangio likes the videotapes because they aren't preachy and "there's no psychobabble." The tapes were reworked to be much more attuned to the current culture to which children are exposed. Drug abuse isn't just marijuana, crack or alcohol; sometimes it means children are using parents' anti-depressants, cough medicines, even medications for hyperactivity. The videotaped sessions can be presented and discussed anywhere that parents congregate, even in homes. No more trying to drag parents to a special event. "This doesn't require us to be the presenter," Arangio said. "Parents present to parent in whatever venue they want. All they need is a little training." Arangio and Hibbs, who is the district's community and family outreach liaison, acknowledge that schools today often are forced to be surrogate parents to many students. But what a poor substitute. Parents may not need a license to raise children, but sometimes they sure need an education. To learn more, call Arangio or Hibbs at (817) 801-1953 or 801-1915. Or you can visit the Web site at www.thepassagegroup.com. - -- Gary Hardee is publisher of the Arlington Star-Telegram. - --- MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom