Pubdate: Mon, 08 Dec 2003 Source: Roanoke Times (VA) Copyright: 2003 Roanoke Times Contact: http://www.roanoke.com/roatimes/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/368 Author: Betsy Biesenbach RECOVERING ADDICT GETS HELP TO START OVER Joseph is good-looking , well groomed and speaks with an accent that hints of his education at a Midwestern university. When he moves, his well-toned biceps show beneath the sleeves of his T-shirt. He has been a middle school teacher, a coach and has always loved sports and working with kids. Joseph, 39, is also an alcoholic and a crack addict who has engaged in shoplifting and other petty crimes to support his habit. But he has always stayed one step ahead of trouble, resigning from teaching positions before anyone had any proof of his extracurricular activities. He rarely showed up at work drunk or high, he said. "My off-time was my enemy. I hid that from everyone." Joseph, who asked that his real name not be used for this story, was born in North Carolina. An Army brat, his father's career took him all over the United States and overseas, and Joseph went to at least 10 different schools. As early as age 14, he was sneaking drinks from his parents' store of liquor. His parents knew about his drinking, but rather than finding help for him, "they'd just yell," he said. Joseph's dream was to play college football. Despite his drinking problem, he had a B average, but he blew off his SATs. After graduation, he "messed around for a while" and then spent four years in the National Guard. He joined the Army for four years and served during the first Gulf War. He smoked crack once while he was in service but didn't become a regular user until he was discharged. "I tried it, and I liked it. You want more and more of it. You chase it eight hours a day, just like it was a job." After doing odd jobs for a few years, he managed to earn an undergraduate degree in physical education and took two teaching positions in North Carolina, lying about his drug use on his applications and quitting both jobs because "I just didn't care." At times, Joseph wanted to kick his habit. In 1997, he went through an outpatient program in North Carolina, but it didn't help. In 2001, he went to the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Salem hoping to do better with an inpatient program, but after completing the program, he returned to North Carolina and his old habits. In August, he returned to Salem to give the program another try. "I came back because of the respect I'd lost. I knew I was out of control. I felt like a zombie some days." He also wanted to be available for his daughter from a failed marriage, who is now 17. But before he could complete the program, he was kicked out for using again. Late one night shortly afterward, Joseph stumbled into Carilion Roanoke Community Hospital's emergency room looking for help. "I'd just about had it. I was wishing I'd get hit by a car," he said. A nurse there asked him if he really wanted to beat his habit. This time, he did. She referred him to a private inpatient program, and the changes he wanted to make began to happen. By October, he was ready to be discharged to a group home but lacked the money for the down payment and his first month's rent. Caseworkers at the program sent him to Roanoke Area Ministries. The agency's Emergency Financial Assistance program, which is supported by The Roanoke Times' Good Neighbors Fund, provides one-time help to those who need a little boost to keep from becoming homeless. Caseworkers at RAM were able to give Joseph a grant for part of his expenses and called around to other charities to make up the rest. Openings at the group home are few and far between, and Joseph is determined to make the best of this opportunity. He plans to stay in Roanoke as long as he can and attend Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings regularly. "I think this is going to work. I need some structure. I'm becoming more aware of the character defects" that led to the drug abuse, he said. Joseph has also joined a church. Although he has always been religious, this time, "I'm being a lot more open-minded. I'm turning my will over to God." When he is clean and sober, he hopes to return to teaching and coaching, and wants to help inner-city children avoid drugs. "If I can just help one person, that would be enough," he said. "I believe everyone should be forgiven and given another chance." There is one more thing he'd like to do. Joseph never noticed the name of the nurse who helped him out on that night in the emergency room. Before he leaves the Roanoke area, Joseph would like to thank her. Checks made payable to the Good Neighbors Fund should be mailed to The Roanoke Times, P.O. Box 1951, Roanoke, VA 24008-1951. Credit card donors should put their credit card number on the donation form and mail it to the same address. Names - but not donation amounts - of contributing businesses, individuals or organizations, as well as memorial and honorific designations, will be listed in the newspaper. Those requesting that their names not be used will remain anonymous. If no preference is stated, the donor's name will be listed. Donations may not be earmarked for specific individuals or families. - --- MAP posted-by: Keith Brilhart