Pubdate: Fri, 26 Apr 2002 Source: Wall Street Journal (US) Copyright: 2002 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. Contact: http://www.wsj.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/487 Author: Diana McPartlin PIPE DREAMS What sad creatures we are. We live in an age in which we pay $35 for half a roasted onion in an Italian restaurant staffed by Dominican immigrants, and congratulate ourselves on our expertise and good taste. We distinguish ourselves from the masses by slurping rancid grape juice and raving over its delicate scent of "sweet cassis, chocolate, violets, tobacco and sweet vanillin oak." But thank goodness for Nick Tosches, who won't be cheated out of his life just because his compatriots have forgotten how to suck the marrow out of it. Sick of the numbing comforts of New York, he sets off in search of something everyone tells him no longer exists: an opium den. Mr. Tosches sums up exactly how he feels at the beginning of "The Last Opium Den" (Bloomsbury, 74 pages, $12.95): "F--- this world of $35 onions and those who eat them. F--- this world of pseudo-sophisticated rubes who could not recognize the finer things in life -- from a shot of vinegar to the first wisp of fall through a tree -- let alone appreciate them, these rubes who turned New York into a PG-rated mall and who oh so loved it thus. They were dead. The neighborhood was dead. The city was dead. Even the goddamn century was dead." The 52-year-old author from Newark has made a career out of writing about the darker shadows of life. His past works include: "Hellfire" (1982) about the tormented life of Jerry Lee Lewis; "Dino: Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams" (1992), a portrait of screen icon Dean Martin; "Power on Earth" (1986) about the infamous Mafia financier Michele Sindona; "The Devil and Sonny Liston" (2000) about the thuggish heavyweight who lost the world championship under mysterious circumstances to a young Muhammad Ali; and most recently "Where Dead Voices Gather" (2001), a biography of obscure Southern minstrel singer Emmett Miller. "The Last Opium Den" is a tiny book (it took me about 40 minutes to read it) based on an essay that Mr. Tosches published in Vanity Fair in 2000, where it apparently drew the biggest reader response in the magazine's history. What he is in search of is not heroin or laudanum, or any mixture of speed or alcohol or cannabis, but fresh, unadulterated opium. The "plant of joy" as the Sumerians called it 5,000 years ago; the "celestial drug " of Thomas De Quincey's "The Confessions of an English Opium-Eater;" the "forbidden, fabulous opium" in the words of another addict, Jean Cocteau. It should be clear that there will be no mention in this book of the horrors of addiction -- the lives ruined, the communities wasted, the bloodshed in the name of the drug trade. Instead Mr. Tosches cares only about "brocade-curtained, velvet cushioned places of luxurious decadence," "wordless kowtowing servants," and "lovely loosened limbs draped from the high slit cheongsams of recumbent exotic concubines of sweet intoxication." It's blatantly ridiculous, but if you can swallow the exoticism he does write beautifully. Unable to find what he wants in America or Europe he trots off to Asia. First stop: Hong Kong, the city of "lush darkness" and "endless rushing midnight." He "walks out into the night, across Salisbury Road, to the wide neon boulevard of Nathan Road, whose countless winding side streets and intertwining alleys were the places where all could be had for a price be it sex or murder, a drink of rarest snake blood or a shot of purest dope, gambling or guns, gold or embroidery or jade, amulets to ward off demons or to court their favor." Which is an interesting way of describing the place because actually I live in a side street off Nathan Road and the worst thing I've ever seen is a bloke urinating in an alley. But, truth aside, I'll admit his fictitious version is more fun. Mr. Tosches's contact takes him to Sham Shui Po, "an area so dark that it's reputation as a black market serves as a veneer of relative respectability," and to "restaurants where no English is spoken and where white men are not welcome." Again and again he whispers "the hushed word for opium, ya-p'ian." Here again his story doesn't pan out. Ya-p'ian is the Putonghua pronunciation; the Cantonese is nga-pin, which he surely would know if he ever really had said it to anyone in Hong Kong. In the city, he is (or at least he says he is) offered heroin, artillery, explosives, perfectly forged American $100 bills and even slave women and children -- but no opium. Realizing he must go somewhere even more exotic, he heads for Thailand, Cambodia and finally Laos. The pace doesn't let up. We get more and more bombastic ramblings: the hellholes of Bangkok, the snakes of Chiang Mai, the malnourished hookers of Phnom Penh, the wild swamps of the Tonle Sap -- and on it goes ad nauseum. As batty and gratuitous as this book is, though, you can't help warming to it. It's as much a rage against the mediocrity of the modern world -- with its dual bastions of blandness and vulgarity -- as it is a search for transcendence. If the underworld is so fascinating it's because our lives are so lacking in mystery and romance. Seediness is the last place true connoisseurship lingers. Is addiction to opium any worse than addiction to television? Mr. Tosches wonders. Is it any less moral than pharmaceutical pill-pushing or invasive psychoanalysis? "The thought of breaking the law troubled me gravely," he writes. "But I have always had another disease as well: the desire to live." He even brings us wisdom from the gnostic "Gospel" of Thomas: "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." Exactly how relevant that is to opium smoking I'm not sure, but it's a nice quote. In the end the buzz seeker finds his opium den, though it isn't quite what he was looking for. He scores his dope and the reader cheers him on as he gets more stoned than anyone has ever been since the Sumerians first ground up poppy seeds. Nick Tosches has lived life to its fullest, all is at peace in the universe, and the dust jacket is pretty too. Ms. McPartlin writes from Hong Kong. - --- MAP posted-by: Larry Stevens