Pubdate: Fri, 25 Oct 2002
Source: Capital Xtra! (CN ON)
Copyright: 2002 Pink Triangle Press
Contact:  http://www.capitalxtra.on.ca/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2153
Author: Suki Lee

ESCAPING ADDICTIONS

Sapphic Traffic / Lesbians Fight To Break Free

I recently kicked an addiction that involved spending up to two hours a day 
sitting in stairwells, leaning out windows, perching on crowded balconies 
and freezing my ass off in sub-zero temperatures. All this effort was for 
the sake of consuming a legal narcotic. I stopped because it was killing my 
creativity, my lightness and my happiness.

Unfortunately, addiction is all too familiar in the lesbian community. 
Forms of addiction vary from blatantly obvious alcohol and cigarette 
consumption to more nebulous cocaine-induced self-esteem enhancement dosages.

Fact: Homosexual women consume significantly more alcohol than their 
heterosexual counterparts. We also have significantly higher rates of 
addiction to tobacco and other drugs, and are more likely to carry our 
addictions later into life.

Some of this may be due to our history. In the past, we were left with no 
place to gather other than bars. Although the lesbian community is much 
more diverse than it once was, our social lives continue to revolve around 
alcohol. It is all the more difficult to avoid because we are targeted by 
alcohol businesses that advertise in our publications and sponsor our 
events. The whole partying scene that surrounds us is self-destructive. We 
should not be self-critical of celebrating, but perhaps there are ways to 
honour our strengths without hurting ourselves.

For many lesbians, addictions are a means of escaping reality and 
concealing insecurities and are symptomatic of the stresses in our lives. 
Every woman who comes out must embark upon a journey that is uniquely her 
own. We learn who we are through self-exploration. Certainly, the lives we 
are living presently do not in any way resemble the expectations that were 
impressed upon us by our families, communities and society in general. Not 
only have we had to choose our own paths -- we have had to build our own 
roads. Forging our paths is what makes us unique. There is no history for 
us to fall back on, so we make it as we live our lives.

But there are innumerable pressures that we undergo through this process: 
coming out to our families, choosing not to be closeted at work, 
experiencing discrimination from people we know and those we do not, as 
well as enduring the continual stress involved in coming out repeatedly 
throughout our lives. The very worst of these stresses is internalized 
homophobia. We are programmed by society to embrace negative perceptions of 
lesbians from an early age. It is tragic and inevitable that incarnations 
of this prejudice make their way into the adult lesbian's self-image. We 
have to fight for who we are every day. Why then do we choose the 
self-destructive behaviour of substance abuse to mask our authentic voice?

Because alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana are socially condoned -- as is 
cocaine in some circles -- we do not often recognize that we have 
addictions. When we are addicted, we look for people who are dependent on 
the same substances as ourselves. We are complicit, so we are not forced to 
think that there is actually something wrong with our lifestyle. Whether it 
is food or heroin, an addiction is a coping mechanism that masks feelings 
of worthlessness. It defers self-actualization. In fact, one ceases to 
develop when addicted.

Like other communities, we are typified by our history, customs, values and 
social and behavioural norms. Lesbian culture has clearly defined 
festivals, rituals, symbols, heroes, language, art, music and literature. 
For our community to overcome addiction, we must become mobilized by our 
culture and motivated by our strengths.
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MAP posted-by: Larry Stevens