Pubdate: Mon, 15 Jul 2002 Source: Hendersonville Times-News (NC) Contact: 2002 Hendersonville Newspaper Corporation Website: http://www.hendersonvillenews.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/793 Author: Susan Hanley Lane Referenced: http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v02/n1115/a01.html Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment) Note: Part 1 of this series can be found at http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v02/n1094/a07.html Part 2 is at http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v02/n1114/a10.html Part 3 is at http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v02/n1156/a09.html Part 4 is at http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v02/n1209/a07.html THE 'BLAME GAME' DOES NOT SOLVE ANYTHING Part of a continuing series on threatened cuts in services for substance abuse and mental health care. Legitimate questions deserve to be answered. When discussing the impending state cutbacks of treatment options for addicts and alcoholics, it is critical to address the very real frustrations of those who have had to stand on the sidelines and watch others destroy themselves. A reader, Beth A. Kinstler, from Savannah, Ga., writes, "It's natural to want to blame others for the problems of one's self or those close to us. In the case of Susan Hanley Lane's sister, she wants to throw the guilt bag at society and anyone else she can throw it at except for the one person she should throw it at, her sister. It was her sister who made the decision to drink to excess and not get help." I'd like to thank Ms. Kinstler for writing so honestly. Her frustration and anger after reading my column describing my sister's death in a Florida jail from the untreated medical consequences of alcoholism is not only understandable, it is justified. I, too, am angry that I have had to pay for the things others do when they've been drunk or high. Why should I have to clean up after them when they're the ones who decided to drink in the first place and not get help? Who is to blame when alcoholics or addicts do not get the help they need? "Blame" is a huge word when it comes to alcoholism and drug abuse. Alcoholics and addicts can find an endless array of reasons why they do what they do, always blaming others for their misbehavior. In AA and AlAnon it's called the "Blame Game." When alcoholics or addicts sober up, they blame themselves unmercifully for the things they've done that have caused others so much suffering. If they do not learn how to deal with their guilt and put it behind them, they will invariably go out and use again. When a friend, lover or family member of an addict or alcoholic can't stop the one they love from destroying himself, the guilt and self-blame is almost more than they can live with. It is vital that they understand that the addict must blame others because if he accepted the blame for his own actions, he would have to stop using the chemical that his body, mind and soul have come to depend on just to make it through another day. This tossing around of blame from the alcoholic to a family member or even to society as a whole is par for the course in the cunning and baffling disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. Blaming is as much a symptom of the disease as dependence and withdrawal. This is where many people sign off. It is one thing to accept diabetes, lung cancer or hypertension as diseases, but alcoholism? Drug addiction? Somehow we do not question that diabetics need medical care even when they continue to eat sugary foods. We don't force smokers with emphysema or lung cancer to die in the gutter because they refused to stop smoking, nor do we punish people with high blood pressure for using salt or eating steak and eggs. We understand that these diseases have a lot to do with self-control, but we do not refuse treatment and banish their victims to their own devices when their willpower fails them. If we did, an awful lot of us would be condemning ourselves or a loved one because these diseases run rampant in our society. Unfortunately, so does alcoholism and substance abuse. As a society we have chosen to condone the use of caffeine, alcohol, nicotine and a virtual rainbow of prescription drugs. It shouldn't surprise us that many among us cross over the line with alcohol or experiment with other mind- and mood-altering chemicals. Most people who "taste and see" don't get hooked. But many do. As a society, we can either choose to treat the signs and symptoms of their disease, i.e. addiction, or we can punish them for not being strong enough or clever enough to play the game without getting caught. It has taken AlAnon, AA and many years of counseling for me to finally accept that addicts and alcoholics have a disease which compels them to use drugs and alcohol even while it is destroying their family, their career and their health, even when their own common sense begs them to stop, even while it is killing them. Without treatment and rehabilitation, alcoholics and drug addicts are condemned to die as surely as any convict on death row. Without counseling, their family members will lose jobs, commit suicide, become juvenile delinquents, drain their employers in sick days and add to the caseload of their already overworked social workers. It is true that addicts and alcoholics can choose to get help. But many, like my sister, have so many emotional wounds from their past that have never been addressed that they don't know where to begin. Many have given up hope. Blaming them for not getting the help they need is as unproductive as blaming their families and friends for bailing them out of trouble time and again. It is understandable, but it doesn't get anyone where they need to go. When a society takes a blame and punishment approach to substance abuse, it winds up paying far more than it would cost to treat the problem in the first place. One way or another, society pays for substance abuse. Thankfully, the most humane and effective way to deal with it happens to be the most cost-effective as well. Treatment addresses the problem; punishment usually prolongs it. - --- MAP posted-by: Doc-Hawk