Pubdate: Sat, 08 Dec 2001
Source: Independent  (UK)
Copyright: 2001 Independent Newspapers (UK) Ltd.
Contact:  http://www.independent.co.uk/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/209
Author: Alex Brooks
Note: Alex Brooks, 28, is currently in a detox programme at the English 
Church Housing Group's Walton Street Project, in Oxford

THE RECOVERING DRUG ADDICT

By the time I was 20, I was homeless and addicted to heroin. My habit cost 
me £30 a day but I'd make twice that by midday through begging. I went 
through one detox and rehab programme at the Ley Community in Oxford and 
was clean for a while. I got a place to live, a job, and started a 
relationship, but when that broke down I went back to drugs, lost my job, 
and started sleeping rough, begging the money for drugs again.

When you're on heroin, no one wants to know you. You've never got any money 
and you're totally selfish, only interested in where you'll get the next 
bag. You feel helpless. For example, it's very expensive to rent anywhere 
in Oxford and landlords don't want to accept housing benefit. The waiting 
list to get on to a council hostel was around 13 years, so you'd think "Why 
bother?" and take more drugs and stay on the street.

I lived like that for five years. By the end I was a wreck, half-starved, 
covered in ulcers and abscesses and barely able to find a vein to inject 
because I'd used them all up.

The turning-point was when I got an abscess in my hand from where I thought 
I'd found a vein but missed. I went to the John Radcliffe hospital and they 
transferred me to the Nuffield Orthopaedic. I slipped out to pick up my 
giro, bought some heroin and overdosed so I ended back in the John 
Radcliffe again, who literally brought me back to life.

Then I did exactly the same thing ­ this time I was dead for eight minutes 
and the John Radcliffe were not happy to see me for a third time. After the 
Nuffield had patched up my hand, I was back on the streets but this time I 
was doing a lot of hard thinking about where I was going.

Then one day a Salvation Army worker told me about the Walton Street 
project. What's great about it is that if there's a place there's no 
hanging around. I filled in the form on the Friday and I was in by the Monday.

Basically it's a shared house between five of us and we each have a key 
worker. She helps me talk about my feelings and we do a care plan where I 
work out what I want to achieve. Every week we have a group session where 
we talk about each person that lives in the house and any issues that have 
arisen.

I'm detoxing with methadone. I'm off heroin completely but it's not as hard 
as I anticipated; if you use methadone properly it's only bad when you get 
down to the last 10ml. Then you can't sleep and you get fidgety. But it's 
nothing like as bad as cold turkey.

After detox, I hope I'll be able to go back to the Ley Community. Generally 
I feel more positive.
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MAP posted-by: Rebel