Pubdate: Wed, 24 Oct 2001 Source: Charlotte Observer (NC) Copyright: 2001 The Charlotte Observer Contact: http://www.charlotte.com/observer/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/78 Author: Joe DePriest MOTHER TO HELP OTHERS DEAL WITH ADDICTION ISSUES Son Died At Age 17 After Battling Alcohol, Drugs That Stole Personality BELMONT -- Stephanie Williams remembers the sparkle in her son's blue eyes when he played soccer. And she remembers them bloodshot from alcohol and drugs. On the soccer field, Brennen Glover could forget his problems and dream of playing professionally in Europe. But addictions overwhelmed him. He died at age 17 in 1999 from what authorities called a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Williams has avoided talking about her son's death. Starting soon, however, she will work through the Belmont parish nurse program to discuss drug and alcohol issues with parents and children at churches, schools or other forums. "I know there are lots of kids like Brennen," said Williams, 44, a former Belmont resident who lives near Kings Mountain. "I can't help him now, but I can try to help others. I can't just let this go. I want to do whatever I can." Cheryl Fleming, a parish nurse sponsored by three Belmont churches, thinks Williams can be a forceful voice. "These problems are pretty widespread," said Fleming, who knew Brennen and also chairs Belmont Youth Counseling Services. "I have parents talk to me about them all the time. I know some parents are probably suffering in silence. Stephanie can raise some awareness." More than a year ago, Fleming called Williams about doing community programs, but they were both busy and lost contact. They reconnected this month, when the Williams family and others in the Belmont area donated $1,000 to the Belmont Abbey College men's soccer team in memory of Brennen. By then, Williams was ready to speak out. Fleming hopes to schedule the first program before year's end. A registered nurse with Hospice of Gaston County for 16 years, Fleming is Gaston's first parish nurse and serves the whole Belmont area, which includes 55 churches. A parish nurse is a health educator, advocate and counselor who can help people get medical help.. Fleming, who has presented programs on substance abuse and teen smoking, thinks Williams can make a big impact. "She has a story that needs to be told," Fleming said. Williams grew up in Belmont, graduated from South Point High School in 1975 and married at age 19. "All I wanted to be was a wife and mother," she said. "That's all that mattered to me." Brennen was born Jan. 15, 1982. By age 4, he'd discovered soccer - a sport he loved more each year. "He was a handsome boy, real gregarious and with a zillion friends," Williams said. "He was every mother's dream child." Brennen's parents divorced when he was 6. His mom remarried two years later. By the ninth grade, Williams noticed changes in her once-happy little boy. She smelled alcohol on his breath and found marijuana traces in his room. "He got kind of withdrawn," Williams recalled. "The bubbles in his personality were gone." When they talked, Williams said, her son admitted he was into alcohol, pills and pot, but that he lacked the willpower to refuse them. "He told me, 'I'm just a loser, Mom,'" she recalled. When he left South Point High in the 10th grade, his mom enrolled him in a high school program at Gaston College. But the problems didn't stop: He was charged with driving while impaired and then developed epilepsy that was unrelated to alcohol or drug use. Sessions with psychologists and psychiatrists went nowhere. Over Labor Day weekend in 1999, while she and her husband were at Myrtle Beach, Williams said, Brennen invited friends over although he'd been warned against it. Williams said Brennen was standing in the driveway when he shot himself in the mouth with his stepfather's handgun. "He didn't plan it - the alcohol and drugs did it," she said. "The drugs won. It's just that simple." Williams blames nobody. To anyone who'll listen, she wants to talk about the problems that took her son. "I know the subject," Williams said. "All too well." - --- MAP posted-by: Lou King