Pubdate: Sun, 07 Oct 2001 Source: New York Post (NY) Copyright: 2001 N.Y.P. Holdings, Inc. Contact: http://nypostonline.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/296 Author: Linda Stasi OUR FREEBIES LAND 'SMACK'-DAB IN HEROIN COUNTRY October 7, 2001 -- PRESIDENT Bush announced earlier in the week that the United States would begin to airdrop $320 million in food and medical supplies into Afghanistan. This historic announcement was immediately followed by declarations of war against the U.S. by Tibet and Arkansas. "We need the freebies more than them," declared several Tibetan monks and three used-car dealers in Little Rock. The president's airdrop is meant, of course, only to supply food and drugs to areas occupied by the good guys of the Northern Alliance as well as fleeing refugees - not to areas controlled by the evil Taliban. Unfortunately, in a feat of blindingly bad timing, on that very same day, the U.N. leaked information that most of the opium grown in Afghanistan these days (which recently accounted for over 70 percent of the world's heroin supply) is produced in areas occupied by our Northern Alliance allies. Seems the Taliban has made it a sin or something to grow opium poppies altogether. Meantime, even when the Afghanis stopped supplying heroin, we got the dirty end of the stick. Why? Because the Taliban recently banned followers from poppy growing. Not that it matters. Last time they stopped growing poppies (when the Soviets invaded and the opium farmers fled), the dearth of cheap heroin caused the rise of crack. Here. Why don't we try taking care of our own poor and uneducated first for a change? True Colors Did Mark Green turn yellow by saying he'd let Rudy stay on three extra months - or was it a red, white and blue act of courage? Looks like the decision that turned Green white with agony may be perceived by the voters as a dopey gambit to win over Rudy supporters who never have been on the Green team. The latest polls have Green and Freddy Ferrer - who told the mayor to stick his idea where the sun don't shine - in a dead heat. What's a pol to do? Me? I'd beg the Rev. Al to take a long vacation and name my choice for police chief ASAP. But both would require further acts of courage. My Heroes Now that we have a better handle on what really makes heroes, I'd like to introduce you to two of my newest favorites. Meet Nick Karas of Annapolis, Md., who sent me this note with a $10 check last week: "This past Tuesday you wrote in your article a piece blasting the terrorists. Sweetheart, that brought tears to my eyes. "I'm a 63-year-old bilateral amputee confined to a wheelchair. But I want to help you all in this hour of need. I'm sorry it's not more, but my disability check only goes so far. "Fill in where you think it will do the most good. And thanks for socking it to those slimy bastards!" You're thanking me? That 10 bucks is now part of the mayor's Twin Towers Fund - so thank you. And then there's mad Mary Muldoon, wondrous wild woman waitress at the Market Diner on 11th Avenue. On Sept. 12, with the city in deepest mourning, a female cabby - all attitude, no brains, no heart - came sauntering into the joint and plopped her butt in one of the gray plastic booths. Then she made her second mistake. "We got what we deserved," sneered the moron about the attack. You'll be happy to know those were the last sounds heard in that diner before that other sound - the distinct thwack of Mary's fist connecting with the cabby's nose. God bless America. Marching Orders Even though the clueless honchos from the Columbus Day Parade insist on banning "The Sopranos" again this year, they better not even think about banning actor Al Sapienza, who plays Mikey Palmice. The actor, you see, spent days volunteering to haul body bags out of the WTC disaster site. Now that's someone to be proud of - not only as an Italian-American, but as an American. And I say that as an Italian-American. Maybe this year we should just forget all these ethnic-pride parades and have a United States Day parade. We need to take some time to celebrate us - - truly the best country on earth. What I will not miss tomorrow, however, is opera singer/all-American boy Michael Amante blasting out "The Star-Spangled Banner" at 68th and Fifth at 1:15. I'm already crying. - --- MAP posted-by: Beth