Pubdate: Wed, 25 Sep 2001 Source: Salisbury Post (NC) Copyright: 2001 Post Publishing Co. Contact: http://www.salisburypost.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/380 Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/youth.htm (Youth) DRUG TALK HITS CLOSE TO HOME It's one thing to tell parents they need to keep closer tabs on their kids. It's quite another to present that message to parents and teens at the same time and in a way that makes sense to both generations. Motivational speaker Milton Creagh of Atlanta succeeded at that Monday night in a Salisbury appearance sponsored by Allies for Substance Abuse Prevention. He talked very little about alcohol and drugs. Instead, he focussed on the importance of being a vigilant, caring and sometimes unpopular parent. Teens who have bucked their parents' authority got a good dose of preaching on why parental controls are necessary. Parents who consider themselves experts got an earful on the things they may still do wrong. In other words, just about everyone squirmed in his or her seat at least once as Creagh's message struck close to home - uncomfortably close at times. Teens raised hands to admit that they had creatively stretched the truth with their parents -lied -and even admitted to bouncing the lie off a friend for practice. They also raised hands - many hands - when asked if they knew of a house where they could go to drink or do drugs without adult supervision or interference. Parents did not get off scot-free. They had to consider if they were among the three types of parents whose homes are often used by kids to drink or do drugs. One was the empty home, where Mom and Dad have great intentions, but they both work. (The top time of day for kids to drink or have sex, Creagh said, was 3 to 6 p.m.) The second was the home where one parent was vigilant but the other was clueless and always defended the teen. The third was the home where parents thought they were cool and allowed teens to get away with stuff they could not do in their own homes. And then there was the message Creagh started the evening with. After speaking to teens earlier in the day, he said, several came to him to say they wished their parents would stop abusing drugs. Seventy percent of illegal-drug users in America are in the workforce every day, he said. The spotlight of blame that many parents expected to shine on the younger generation Tuesday night clearly aimed also at them. What difference will Creagh's speech make?It's hard to say. He and the Allies for Substance Abuse Prevention are fighting against powerful societal forces. Families tend to isolate themselves from each other, and adults no longer help each other out by snitching on other people's kids. Growing affluence has led to more perks for teens, and fewer chores. Children no longer seem to worry about proving themselves in the areas of responsibility, accountability, dependability and maturity. They just need to prove they can pass the driver's test and - voila - at 16 they will have a car. Creagh said he was appalled that the cars in the students' parking lot at Salisbury High -cars driven by what he called "your snot-nosed children" - -were nicer than those in the teachers' parking lot. He was blunt and persuasive. And if he convinced just one or two parents to take more time - to check out their kids' friends, assign some chores, resist the constant push to go along, go along, go along - Creagh might have accomplished something. If he also helped their teens understand why these things are important, he will have achieved the seemingly impossible. - --- MAP posted-by: Jackl