Pubdate: Tue, 04 Jul 2000 Source: Post-Courier (New Guinea) Copyright: 2000, Post-Courier Contact: P.O. Box 85, Port Moresby, National Capital District, Papua New Guinea Fax: (675) 320 1781 Website: http://www.postcourier.com.pg FAMILY RESPONSIBILITY TOWARDS DRUG ABUSE FAMILIES are not just places where children are conceived and brought forth or where food and shelter are provided, there is more to these. A family is the most fundamental institution in which a child develops and becomes a responsible and caring adult in society. It is a place where children are trained emotionally, socially, spiritually and given model skills required for their adult lives. To become model citizens, children depend very much on the family where they are born and raised, if this does not happen, the family fails and children are out on the streets looking for ways to cope with life and drug abuse is no exception. Today Papua New Guinea is experiencing an alarming increase in drug abuse problems and the National Narcotics Bureau is now focusing on the family to find ways to combat the problem. Director of the Education and Awareness division Maku Maruse believes it is time for families, mainly parents, to pull their acts together and help their children stay away from drugs. "A human life if a gift of God the Father and as parents and as teachers, we have to play our role but we should always seek help from the father,"' Mr Maruse said. He believes that with the help from Heavenly Father parents will be strengthened to raise, mould and shape their children into adults that God and the society wants them to be. So what are some of the roles that parents and family members can play in the prevention of drug abuse by their children? Parents can do the following: Sustainable home life Home life is important in the rearing of children. Parents are key personal, they are the first teachers, if they fail in their duty as parents, their children's lives will surely go to pieces. An unhappy home Is the breeding ground for all ills (evils), socially, psychologically and morally. The future of your children depends on you parents. If parents are disorganized they can easily set bad examples to their children. If they are too busy to look after their children or are not able to manage them properly the children will end up being in the wrong company. Discipline Carefully controlled discipline at home is very important and in modern society today is very absolute. Modern men and women tend to equate discipline with restriction; a deterrent to personal freedom. While maintaining some form of control, parents must ensure their children have freedom in life particularly in decision making, but parents must always point out the disadvantages and advantages of what certain decisions can do for their children. Role models Today most men and women are not ready to be parents and are not fit to be parents. They themselves are victims of conditions of unhealthy social and moral conditions of modern life. Young people learn from adults. If a parent is a drinker or a smoker, you can be 70 per cent sure that your children will follow your example. Love and care Parents must do their best to look after their children with love and care to gain respect and confidence. Each child must be made to feel important and must be given attention so that he feels part of the family in which he is in. Parents must spend time with each of their children from the time they are infants to adolescence so that their development at each stage is safe. When children feel they are loved, they have self-esteem and they know they are valued. Involvement in Church and Sports activities Children must be encouraged to participate in Church and Sports activities to lead a good life. IN Children who take part in Sports have their minds busy and occupied. In Church activities, children and adolescents must be assisted to get involved early in life. In these modern days, teenagers tend to think that Church activities are only for older people, which is very wrong. Church groups should have programs that involve all age groups. There are times when communication between parents and their children becomes difficult. When such parents experience such times how should they encourage their children to seek their guidance. Rephrase a child's or your children's comments to show you understand. This is sometimes called reflecting listening and it serves three purposes. One your child knows that you had what he said, it allows your child to hear what he said and consider his or her feelings and it is a reassurance that you correctly understood your child. Watch for your child's face and body language Often a child will assure you that he or she does not feel sad, but a quivering chin or too bright eyes will tell you otherwise. When words and body languages say two different things, always believe the body language. Give non-verbal support and encouragement This may include a smile, a hug, a wink, a pat on the shoulder, nodding your heard, making eye contact or reaching for your child's hand. Use the right voice for the answer you are giving. Remember that your voice tone communicates as a clear as your work. Use encouragement phrases to show your interest and keep the conversation going. Give lots of praise, for efforts as well as accomplishment; help your child set realistic goals; when correcting, criticise the action not the child; give your child responsibility; and show your child you love him or her. - --- MAP posted-by: greg