Pubdate: Tue, 19 Dec 2000
Source: Irish Times, The (Ireland)
Copyright: 2000 The Irish Times
Contact:  11-15 D'Olier St, Dublin 2, Ireland
Fax: + 353 1 671 9407
Website: http://www.ireland.com/

CHRISTMAS AFTER FIVE YEARS OF HELL

 From Trying Heroin At A Party To Sleeping Rough, David Clarke, Now Two 
Years Off Drugs, Tells Judith Crosbie How He Turned His Life Around

David Clarke looks forward to Christmas since he gave up heroin two years 
ago. He can now afford to buy his three children things they want and, most 
importantly, wants to enjoy it with them. "Before I wouldn't even get out 
of the bed for Christmas morning," he says.

"It's great to see a smile on their faces because when I was on heroin, 
they weren't really getting anything for Christmas." The 33-year-old from 
Dublin's south inner city attends the Merchants Quay Project where he 
receives methadone to help him stay off heroin. His life has turned around 
since the five years of his addiction. His children and his partner are 
back with him, he has a home, he has regained his mother's trust, and he is 
learning new skills.

David has just completed a study of the history of Thomas Street where he 
interviewed older people living in the area. He is also brushing up on his 
reading and writing skills and hopes to go to the Dublin Institute of 
Technology on Bolton Street to study addiction counselling next September.

A few family members are harder to convince he has given up drugs for good. 
"If I'm in my auntie's, if I go into the kitchen I get followed because 
they still haven't got that trust that I'm completely off everything."

David describes the five years he was on heroin. "You never have a happy 
life on heroin, ne ver. It's hell. It's hell on earth."

It began at a party when he smoked some heroin he was offered. "I couldn't 
believe the buzz was so good. Everything I was feeling inside just went, 
was blocked out. That one line led to two and three, and then I was going 
to buy my own."

The death of his younger brother when he was a child and a rape attack just 
three months later caused David mental anguish over the years which made 
heroin a welcome escape route.

"I couldn't even tell my mother or father what was after happening with the 
man because my little brother was only after dying three months before . . 
. I was nine and he was three and he just let go of my hand and walked out 
on the street.

"That took lumps out of me and my mother and father. Their hearts just went 
out the window and my father wouldn't speak to me for years. Everything 
just built up and I couldn't handle it. That's when heroin came into it."

But the buzz was short-lived and David soon found he was addicted. He sold 
his possessions and would spend his entire salary on heroin. At one point 
he was taking five or six bags of heroin a day costing UKP 120. He lost his 
job and began thieving. A few times he ended up in custody. He became 
homeless and turned to his mother, who gave him an ultimatum.

"She said you have a choice. You can stay here or go back out on to the 
streets and take your heroin. It was a horrible thing because I stayed out 
about three nights. It was freezing, it was in the winter and I said to 
myself 'I can't handle this'.

"I went to see a doctor and he said 'I'll give you the help you want.' 
Since then he's given me help and got me back on track."

David has been reducing his methadone intake since he began his first 
course two years ago. He hopes in six months to come off it completely.

He says it is still difficult to break the mental dependence on the 
dangerous drug. "The temptation is always there. I'm off it two years and I 
still get the taste of it on my throat. But I know if I do it again that 
I'm finished."

The series will run daily this week until Friday 
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