Pubdate: Sun, 12 Nov 2000 Source: Houston Chronicle (TX) Copyright: 2000 Houston Chronicle Contact: Viewpoints Editor, P.O. Box 4260 Houston, Texas 77210-4260 Fax: (713) 220-3575 Website: http://www.chron.com/ Forum: http://www.chron.com/content/hcitalk/index.html Author: Thom Marshall WOMAN IS TIRED OF STARTING OVER She has a job she likes. Within a couple of weeks of her release last year she managed to secure a full-time position with one of Houston's major corporations. Her stretch in prison -- 22 months of a four-year sentence -- was for possession of a small amount of cocaine. She said it has been well over two years since she last used any illegal drugs. She has been dating a man she loves. Said he is sensitive, considerate, smart, believes in God and doesn't drink or use drugs. "And he can take care of me," she wrote in an e-mail. "He cares about me. I care about him. I have stopped drinking. I am taking ReVia (naltrexone) 50 mg. that prevents me from drinking." She sees a future for herself that in many ways has never looked brighter, never held more promise of happiness. However, she also has a big problem. Swearing off the booze is a recent development. In September, she said, she blew a .12 on a breathalyzer and was charged with DWI. It is her fifth. `Good, sensitive and scared' "I am very scared," she wrote. She described herself as "a very good, sensitive, gentle person" who has a college education and made good grades. She said she also is honest. "In fact, my counselor told me that I was a compulsive confessor," she said. "I have never stolen from anyone. I mean it. I have always worked. I worked since I was 10 years old." She's well into her 30s now, never married, no children. It was pretty long, as e-mail messages go. She told of being molested by a relative over several years as a child. Said that older siblings started her drinking at age 9. Said her father died of alcoholism. Said she was moved around a lot as a child, finally being adopted by relatives when she was a teen-ager. She suffers from abandonment fears and reactive attachment disorder, she said, apparently having learned those terms from counseling sessions. A few years ago, her alcohol abuse landed her in a one-year treatment program. The day she was to graduate she got caught drinking and got kicked out. She drank even though she knew if she didn't finish the program successfully she'd land in jail for a probation violation. "What I'm trying to say," she said, "is that I have a real addictive disease. It is cunning, baffling and powerful. How I learned to cope and comfort myself when I was a child is not working now." What she fears the most She said that she goes to AA meetings on a daily basis. Said she is getting treatment on an outpatient basis and is willing to continue taking the medication that reduces the desire to drink. But it is another stretch in prison that looms over her like a dark cloud. "I am very scared that I may lose some more years of my life as a result of this new DWI. I cannot face the thought of losing again. I am tired of starting over. I am a law-abiding citizen. The reason I am writing you is to ask you what you think." Of course, what I think has no bearing upon your situation. Your course will be set by officials in the criminal-justice system. But since you asked: I think nobody wants to share the road with a drinking driver. As a matter of fact, MADD says that 72 percent of all drivers believe penalties for drinking and driving should be even more severe than they are. I think some day motor vehicles will be equipped with safety devices to prevent their starting by anyone who has been drinking. That way we will eliminate the danger of drunk drivers and won't have to spend so much money locking up so many of them. I think some day we will figure out that the physical and mental aspects of addiction are better handled by doctors and psychological counselors than by judges and guards. I think for the present, however, in addition to continued success with your treatment and counseling sessions, and in addition to the man you love, you need a real good lawyer. Good luck with your future life. Please let us know how things turn out for you. Don't drink and drive. - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake